Fashion – Page 4 – Rant and Roll

I make so many beginnings, there never will be an end

Hey duders.

It’s a chilly, misty evening out here on the west coast of Canada, and I am wrapped in a blanket, tap-tap-tapping away at my keyboard like some kind of tapping thing.

Thank goodness that it’s Friday.

Even though it has been a short week, I am feeling the strain of everything that has been going on of late, and I still don’t think that I’ve fully recovered from three days of zero sleep, thanks to the snoring dogs of death.

OF DEATH!!!

On the plus side, I have booked three more stand-up shows, and have signed up to compete in a comedy contest starting at the end of March.

I am also hosting the Storytelling Show this weekend on Vancouver Coop Radio, and will be interviewing two ladies who are members of the city’s burlesque community. It should be a really interesting, really great chat!

In the meantime, it’s business as usual here at the home front. I’m trying to make sure that I’m getting some longer runs under my belt in the lead up to the Sunshine Coast half marathon. It’s can be really hard to get out there (and stay out there!) when the weather is such rubbish, but last weekend I did manage to run twenty-two kilometers, so I’m hopeful that I will ramp up my distance, slowly but surely.

I shall keep you posted on my progress. Also, have any of you purchased running shoes over the internet? I am in need of some new shoes, and am thinking of ordering them online.

Do let me know. And in the interim, how’s about a fry-up?

Oh I think so.

It’s in the bag.

Look at what I bought!

I’ve had my eye on this leather doctor’s bag FOREVER. And I think these little flats are just the bee’s knees. So you can imagine how stoked I am to have them in my possession.

BUT – this purchase (which, on its own is darn fab) isn’t all that I have to report.

Oh no.

First of all, it should be noted that I nearly passed out from disbelief when I paid for these items.

This is because, (drum roll) the purse was originally $150.00 marked down to $10.00 (!!!) and the shoes, once priced at $29.00, I procured for $4.00.

HOW – !

WHAT – !

WHY – !

I PAID $16.71 FOR ALMOST TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS WORTH OF MERCHANDISE!!!

Now, bless my little frugal heart, I really still cannot believe it.

Sweet mother of pearl do I ever love me some Joe Fresh.

Now if you excuse me, I’ll be taking this bag and making my rounds.

Sweet cuppin’ cakes.

For Valentine’s Day, Mr. M and I woke at the crack of dawn (like every other work day) and exchanged the cards we had for each other (not quite the same as every other work day.)

He also bought us these awesome cupcakes to snack on post-dinner:

We ate these bad boys as we slurped down some amazing Earl Grey tea, and worked through last weekend’s New York Times Saturday crossword.

(Otherwise known as pure V-Day bliss.)

Sister dear.

I was at Starbucks last night with my little sister study buddy, when low and behold, who was to come on the radio?

That brilliant relic of the 90s – MORCHEEBA!

Holy smokes. Remember this song?

Anywho, listening to this rad tune got me thinking about my brilliant big sister. She was the one who introduced me to this band (as she did with so many other musical greats – seriously, I will never, ever forget listening to Weezer’s Blue album on repeat my entire grade seven year) and it just got me thinking about all the amazing times the two of us have had together, either adventuring about on late night quests, or just hanging around cackling over old Kids in the Hall episodes.

Kate is pretty much one of the coolest, craziest, smartest, most dedicated, brave, and fearless women you will ever get the chance to meet.

I may (slightly) tower over her, but goodness knows if she isn’t my consummate protector in life.

I also cannot tell you how many times this gal has talked me down from an all-consuming panic attack. I definitely would have not made it through my undergraduate days without her.

What a brilliant, brilliant lass.

…

So there you have it my sweets!

A very merry (belated) Valentine’s to you all.

I hope you all had a chance to celebrate the wonderful people who fill your days with light and love.

And maybe eat a cupcake (or two.)

The more you know

*First things first – the show on Friday was amazing, and I couldn’t be happier with how it went. The headliner was brilliant and very complimentary after I performed, encouraging me to continue comedy and he let me know he was impressed that I had only been doing stand-up for a short time. I was also invited to perform at a local venue by another performer, which is rad.

Right after the show, M and I drove to our friends’ house as we had to dog sit for them all weekend, and only now have arrived home after a bonkers weekend of animals and activity.

So in lieu of anything even remotely sane, I present to you dear readers:

TWENTY QUESTIONS.

Did you know that a Boston terrier can snore louder than a steam powered locomotive?

Did you know that three nights of little to no sleep due to said snoring can leave a person positively knackered?

Did you know that sometimes a run in the pea-soup mist can do wonders to revive your spirits?

Did you know that doing the exact same run two days later can tire you like no other, which is strange, so you imagine that the second day’s mist was the residual spittle from a dementor’s kiss?

Did you know that stand-up comedy is pretty much crack, only healthier for you?

Did you know that all I want to do is continue to make people laugh for the rest of my life?

Did you know that mint-green dresses are in?

Did you know that I’ve just been told that it’s just “mint-green” that’s in?

Did you know that I purchased a mint-green dress, but because of it’s dodgy length I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to wear it sans-tights?

Did you know that the best yogurt is lemon yogurt?

Did you know that after two days away from my cat I can never figure out who is more excited to see whom?

Did you know that if I had to eat only one kind of food for the rest of my life it would be south-Asian hands down, no contest?

Did you know that my amazing husband bought be a new laptop for my birthday because my current computer sounds like there is a hot tub bubbling away inside its processor?

Did you know that he also bought me The One Hundred Year Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and I will be reading nothing else this week?

Did you know that I’m also reading the Lost City of Z WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY CRAZY?

Did you know that Victorian adventurers were probably the nuttiest (and sometimes most appallingly racist) people of all time?

Did you know that sometimes I drink chocolate milk by the litre?

Did you know that there is a tumblr called Les Mean Girls, which is a mash up for Mean Girls and Les Mis? And that it is amazing?

Did you know that I adore you all and that as I fall asleep as I type this I want to know random, crazy things about your life and loves?

Did you know – zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

Making it all bearable

Hey kids.

First off – LOOK AT HOW BEAUTIFUL THE SKY IS GOOD GRIEF IT KILLS ME.

Seriously, I near but froze my toes off, tip-toeing around my balcony yesterday morning trying to get these shots.

But are they not oh-so worth it?

And then, because I’m one who can never just leave well enough alone, I had to take a second round of shots as I walked to the metro (plus one final snap when I arrived at the skytrain station.)

Honestly, I’m surprised that I don’t catch more people taking snaps of the sunrise. I mean, am I the only sap left in the world who’s moved by this kind of thing?

Actually, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that I was some kind of high-flying migratory bird, or climatologist, or Greek god in one (or all of) my previous lives, what with how pathologically OBSESSED I am with the sky.

P.S I’m calling dibs on Athena, here and now and NO SWAPSIES ALLOWED! That badass gal is my homegirl through and through, ya dig?

Anywho, I can only hope that we continue to have good weather so I can carry on getting all shirty over cloud striations, and the way the early-morning horizon looks like a giant space toddler’s blue and orange finger painting project.

(p.s. I think I’ve been reading too much Drew Magary, hence the current love affair with CAPS LOCK. Do not be alarmed. As with all crushes before it – both written and otherwise – this too soon shall pass.)

In the interim, fry up time!

All that glitters is not gold.

So my fabitty fab sister in-law Vanessa is engaged to be married, and her wedding day is coming up daisies (or within the calendar year if you will). As such, she is on the hunt for a gown in which she will be fit to wed her dearly betrothed.

Now, I love weddings like the wedding-mad fool that I am, so I readily agreed to accompany her shopping the second that she asked. We spent last Saturday afternoon together, along with my mother in-law (or CAPTAIN C as I like to refer to her), visiting the various shops that line downtown New Westminster, perusing their incredibly diverse wares.

Now, my sis is a lady of discerning taste, and to say that there were some stores that didn’t quit fit the bill is a bit of an understatement.

For instance, I managed to covertly snap this picture of one of the prom dresses available for purchase at one of the shops:

WHO?

WHY?

HOW?

I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY SOMEONE WOULD MAKE A DRESS OUT OF THE SAME MATERIAL USED TO CREATE THE SPACE SHUTTLE.

Seriously, somewhere out there Rumpelstiltskin just rolled over in his grave.

(Also, that pink number isn’t anything to write home about either.)

Needless to say, we didn’t last long in that shop, and quickly moved on to a store where everything Ms. V tried on brought tears of happiness and joy to my eyes (and not, you know, a panic attack.)

Different strokes and all that, but my capacity for completely gaudy get-ups is limited, especially outside the confines of an H&M dressing room.

NEXT!

To a Tee.

Remember when I wrote about how awesome my little sister’s butcher shop is?

Well, check out these smashing Highland Drive t-shirts HOT OFF THE PRESSES:

Don’t you want one?

I have already placed an order for both M and myself, so you should probably think about procuring some of your own. All the cool kids are doing it!

Find out how you can get your mitts on these sweet things by following my wicked sister on the FACEBOOKS HERE.

(And while you’re there, you should probably stop by Ye Olde Rant and Roll and like that too. SHAMELESS PLUG Y’ALL.)

Techno queen.

Sometimes I feel as though I am overrun by gadgets.

(This overwhelming sensation definitely played a leading role in what kept me from getting a cell phone for so long.)

I mean, I go to work and sit at a compute – writing, reading, researching, blogging, tweeting, facebooking, e-mailing, scheduling, etc., etc.

Then I come home and use my laptop or tablet, like some Asimov inspired cyborg.

And it is because of this that I make such a concerted effort to make sure that I unplug at every available opportunity. I read like a reading thing as much as I can, go for walks with my husband, take endless photos of my cat (and the sky), cook, listen to the radio (what would I do without the CBC!?), talk on the phone with my far-away loved ones (ACK! I have just realized that most of these things are gadget related!), or just sit and think my madcap thoughts, all alone and on my own.

However, on this last point I really need to get better at “just being.”

Growing up, we used to always call it “bear by yourself” time. I want to re-learn how to be bear by myself.

…

That’s all she wrote this Friday my loves.

Wishing you all a very fabulous weekend, whether it is adventure filled or quietly serene!

Take each moment, and enjoy.

All the colours of the rainbow

Hey gang.

Do you ever wake up in the morning and feel the urge to dress like Amélie?

I do.

So this past Wednesday I put together this little outfit:

I snapped this photo whilst out on a walk-around of Forever XXI’s latest megaplex, a monstrosity currently talking up a huge chunk of (incredibly valuable) downtown Vancouver real estate.

FYI – upon dressing myself this way, I had no choice but to help a blind man make his way to the metro station, all the while whispering in his ear, describing all the comings and goings of the busy streets we travelled.

Okay.

So that actually didn’t happen.

Ho hum, pigs, bum.

Anywho, I only found myself at Forever XXI because I had a lunchtime hankering for some dressing room mischief, and I had arrived with the express intention of trying on absolutely bonkers clothing.

However, this plan fell by the wayside pretty quickly, as upon my entrance to the store I was greeted by a number of darling dresses, and I realized that I would much rather try on a bunch of adorable pieces than wreck myself laughing over a completely crackers floral jumpsuit.

(But only just.)

I scampered about, scooping up a few things here and there, and eventually purchased two dresses, of which the following is one:

I actually wore this dress last night at my stand-up show, along with a black and gold sweater, and brown scarf.

I like to think that I looked like the most beautiful bruise in the world.

And guess what! I’ve been booked into doing two more shows this month, so I’ll be jamming tonight AND on the twenty-fifth. Meep.

Even cooler? These are both Friday shows, which I can only surmise to be proof of the fact that I’m moving on up in the comedy world.

Oh baby.

So in honour of Friday awesomeness, let’s get this fry-on on the stove.

Colour me surprised.

So I was loitering about Sephora like the creeper that I am (okay, I was actually just using the store as a short-cut on my way back to work from lunch) when I saw this:

HOW TERRIBLE IS THIS – I CAN’T EVEN.

Thirty new shades you say?

Why, how utterly generous of you Clinique!

I mean, had I been in charge of this campaign I would probably have gone even bigger and marketed the whole thing as: “Fifty shades of beige!”

Good grief.

I mean, first, how many different variations of white can a company possibly make?

Maybe Clinique should spend some of their research and development dollars on creating a product (or, you know, products) geared toward the myriad of women out there whose skin tone doesn’t fall under the general category of “eggshell.”

Canada is pretty darn multicultural. The concept of diversity (and the fact that when diversity exists it should not be ignored) isn’t that hard to understand.

If anything, advertisers should be interested in providing a diverse, inclusive product, seeing as though it’s pretty common knowledge that the larger client basis a company appeals to, the larger their revenue.

Honestly, I totally get the creeps when confronted with this kind of crap – like when I see nylons or pantyhose (PS I HATE THIS WORD SO MUCH) labelled “flesh tone.”

Flesh tone for WHO?

I tells ya – white privilege. Coming to a store near you.

Next!

Feeling crepey.

Sunday morning, post-rain soaked run breakfast of strawberry Nutella crepes and coconut water.

NUFF SAID.

Bergman chic.

I took a photo of this sweater in H&M the other day because this style will never stop making me laugh.

I believe Noel Fielding put it best, when, wearing a sweater very similar to the one above, he said that he looked like a 1970s Swedish film director.

And I will never stop thinking otherwise.

Also, if you are unacquainted with the absolute madness of Mr. Fielding, I would recommend introducing yourself as soon as possible.

Maybe start out with a little Never Mind the Buzzcocks, then make your way over to the IT Crowd, and then finish off with The Mighty Boosh.

Disclaimer: the latter show is totally nuts, so if you don’t like anything as odd as Kids in the Hall, this might not be the stuff for you. Just stick to Buzzcocks and IT Crowd.

…

So that’s all she wrote, you beauty cats you.

The west coast weekend weather is supposed to be off the charts brilliance-wise.

I wish you all the same, and more.

Always, always more.

Sale, sale, sale!

Yesterday M and I braved the elements and suited up to do retail combat with all the other Haligonian boxing day shoppers.

Little known fact – here in Halifax, everything remains closed on December 26th and the shopping extravaganza doesn’t start until the 27th.

(I like to refer to it as Boxing Day Part II – Box Harder.)

When we first left the house it was bitter cold, but the air was clear of any snow flurries (or cloud debris if you will). However, about ten minutes into our walk downtown, the white stuff started in earnest and didn’t stop for the next couple of hours.

I’m pretty sure that between the time we left the house, and by the time we pried our boots off our feet upon our return, it had snowed a good ten centimeters.

Ch-ch-check it:

Mr. M bought two new pairs of shoes – running and dress – and I bought this little green number:

(Please excuse the rumpled state of this dress – I haven’t had a chance to iron out the creases. Rufus also refuses to take part.)

(As does Simon.)

We were so cold walking back that we had to make a pit stop to warm up. We chose a little Vietnamese cafe and I ate this delicious coconut curry tofu soup:

Good grief that broth packed a punch – hot, spicy, delicious.

Elsewhere in the cosmic kitchen, we’ve been playing games like the game nutters that we are, eating delicious and decadent food, running like Forrest Gump, listening to great music, dancing about the kitchen, and watching movies late into the night (and sometimes into the early morning. I officially don’t need to watch another Bond flick for the rest of my days here on this here planet.)

We even suited up and worked a shift at my sister’s butcher shop and storehouse. (Stay tuned for a much longer post on this incredibly business venture.)

Here I am in full shop regalia:

This was pretty much one of the most fun things EVER – talk about fam jam teamwork (although I was pretty adement working the cash, as handling large quantities of meat isn’t exactly my bag.) We even had a family photo taken in the store last night.

I cannot wait to see the final results.

What’s been happening in your necks of the woods? Did you purchase anything on boxing day?

I’m so sorry that I have been lax in keeping up with all your brilliant blogs. I’ll be back to normal soon – at present I’m just soaking up all the family time I can get.