So many balls in the air

So lately Marc and I have been watching a ton of World Cup soccer. This of course means that we’ve been hurtling back and forth from one crisis to the next, wrapped up as we are in the drama and beauty of this incredible sport.

(Seriously, I’m still not sure that I took a single breath during the last five minutes of the Belgium/USA game this afternoon. And I definitely didn’t sit down for the last ten.)

Because just when you think that a team has sealed the deal – KABLAM-O!

The soccer gods are right there to wipe any and all of your silly pre-conceived notions of victory straight from your mind.

(Or any silly, victory-assumed smiles straight from your face.)

Simple mortal! You thought it would be that easy? HAH!

*Soccer-Zeused*

But one of the great things about soccer (and there are many great things), is its constant inconsistency. The fact that you are never guaranteed a victory until those final three whistles is the very thing that makes it so thrilling.

Anything can happen.

And it often does.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes a little heart-pounding, “will they, won’t they?” action is just the thing one needs.

It adds a real spice to your otherwise vanilla afternoon.

The only real downside to this, is when a massive dump of paprika manifests itself in multiple late-in-injury-time Swiss crossbar deflections.

At that point I could really do with less drama and more equalizing goal scoring.

But I digress.

(And fully acquiesce to the fact that if there is anyone out there who really deserves to win a World Cup, it’s Lionel Messi. FO SHO.)

A few other notes about the beautiful game:

1. The Heat.

Watching athletes careen about a massive soccer field in the excruciating Brazilian heat immediately negates any excuse I might have for not strapping on my running shoes and heading outside.

I mean, these dudes are sweating. There is absolutely no reason that I cannot slip on a sweet pair of sunglasses and just go out and give ‘er.

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NONE.

2. ABS.

Oh my goodness gracious.

That’s all I have to say about that.

(Oh, and I also like all of those blogs that just post pictures of the players hugging. Hugging each other.)

Erm.

3. Costa Rica.

I nearly burst a blood vessel cheering for these fellas over Greece.

(Or Hellas, if you’re really into rhyme schemes.)

(Because let’s face it, who isn’t?)

Sometimes, you just need to root for the underdog. Especially when said underdog played the majority of the game a man down and has a goalie who dances like he’s got a colony of ants down his trousers in an effort to confuse and intimidate his opponents come penalty shots.

Because that – that is just excellent.

So well played sir.

And hard won boys.

4. Mexico’s Coach.

Is a Digimon character.

15b

Nuff said.

5. The jerseys.

They are awesome this year! What I wouldn’t give to get my hands on a Belgian-Swiss combo.

(If there are any enterprising and generous readers out there who may now be thinking “care-package”, I take a woman’s small. And thank you!)

I am also partial to how the fit of these shirts really highlights item #2 on this list.

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!!!

Okay, now that I have officially outed myself as a creeper McCreeperson, I am wont to bid you goodnight.

But before I do, I must ask –

Are any of you World Cup mad? And who is your team of choice?

I’ll try my very best not to sit down with you for the next ninety minutes that they play.

But breathe – that I’ll have to do.

Go long. Go very long.

Okay friends.

Some things.

What a sports nut!

Yesterday Marc and I watched A LOT of football.

Now, this is great because I really like football, and I really like Marc, and because both teams that I wanted to win ended up proving victorious.

HOORAY!

Also, after watching eight million trailers for what I can only assume to be crappiest TV shows ever to grace the face of this planet, I am fairly certain that all programming on network television is just the crappiest dreck of life.

Oh my sweet goodness.

Seriously when did CBS (and its ilk) become vessels for such unbelievably epic crap?

Has they always been havens of television garbage?

(I am beginning to think yes. Yes they have.)

Also how many pseudo-serial killer crime shows can one world possibly sustain?

And who is naming these programs?

TOMORROW’S PEOPLE? WHO THE HELL WAS PAID TO COME UP WITH THAT IDIOCY?

Anywho, to get away from that on to what I really want to talk about – as we were watching the Broncos dismantle beautiful Brady and the New England Patriots, I started to feel some weeeeeeiiiiirrrrddd feelings.

Mostly, (and I really don’t know how to feel about this) I started to feel grown-up lady feelings for Peyton Manning.

WHAT THE WHAT.

I have had some strange crushes in my time, but I really feel like this one takes the cake.

My favourite thing to come out of this whole grim fandango is the following exchange between Marc and I:

Petyon

CLASSIC.

And what can I say?

I am who I am.

And I like what I like.

(NERDS.)

All of us ladies.

I just started watching the first season of Girls (HBO programming for the win!) and I really, really like it.

I thought that I would hate it because everything that I’ve read about Lena Dunham has left me with a fairly sour taste in my mouth, and people just love to dump all over her and her writing, and her white-washed, privileged interpretation of what it means to be a young woman making a life for herself in Brooklyn (not to mention the fact that I feel like this is something we will continue to hear about ad nauseam even long after the show has left the airwaves) –

But again, what can I say?

I think it’s pretty darn hilarious.

Luckily for me, I cannot relate to much of anything that these four ladies are going through, but I am sure that there are some young women out there going through similar trials and tribulations suffered by Hannah and her posse each episode (and sweet Buddha help them all).

Are any of you folks watching?

What do you think?

Drop me a line and let me know.

Our voices, heard loud and clear.

So last night my great friend Chelsea co-hosted the Storytelling Show with me and we discussed a whole manner of things, including Youtube, smoking, house purchasing, novel publications, and Liam Neeson (amongst many, many others) and it was just such a rad, fun show that I would love to leave the link for you all if you care to have a listen.

At the very top of the page click to listen to the episode from January 19th.

Laugh!

Love!

Enjoy!

So that’s all she wrote for this late-January Monday.

I hope you all had a brilliant weekend, and are facing the next four days in earnest.

And don’t worry.

It’ll be Friday in no time.

A change is gonna come

Isn’t it funny how we, as human beings, change?

Sometimes transformation happens quickly, and other times it is both painstakingly slow, and, well, just plain painstaking.

Sometimes changes happens and we aren’t even aware that it is happening.

Sometimes it happens because a judge has ordered it so (although hopefully not that often!) or because outside factors (non-court sanctioned of course) have come to dictate that the current path we happen to be travelling is no longer viable.

(Picture a giant Gandalf impersonater shouting, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” – or whichever knock-off literary reference you think most fitting.)

In the end, the result is the same: we as human beings change.

We grow.

We adapt.

We react.

I was thinking the other day about just how different my life is from this same time last year.

Sure, at the root of it all, many of the larger pieces that make me “me” are still the same: I am still with the love of my life, living in the same house, with the same mad cat.

But I have a different job, different friends (although I am lucky that many of the same old friends are still bopping about!); I am running more, and running faster.

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RUNRUNRUN (RACE)

I started comedy, and am having a harder time sticking to a regular blogging schedule despite the fact that I am trying to do more writing.

I play soccer.

Seriously.

I play soccer.

Now, for those of you who don’t know me – well, this is quite the departure from where I used to stand in terms of this sport.

I used to think it was pretty much the worst.

And now I absolutely love it.

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I like to watch it too!

Please let me explain.

But before I do, I will present to you the formal title of a three-part rant:

Things I used to hate, but now I love: How I came around to soccer, coffee, and camping

Part 1 – Soccer.

Or “football” in the parlance of all you readers residing outside of North America.

(Funny side-note: I also used to hate watching our version of football until a few years ago, and now very much enjoy it.)

Sporting evolution! It happens!

Anywho, back to soccer.

Like 99.9% of West Coast kids, I played this sport as a youngster. This meant weekends spent driving around in the fall and winter rain, running up and down soggy pitches, and trying my darndest to keep away from any and all actual ball-related action.

I was terrified of the ever-clashing elbows and ankles and shins and knees, and preferred to steer clear of both my fellow teammates and adversaries alike.

However, I did really love running, so most of my time was spent sprinting from one end of the field to the other as far away from the scrum as I could non-conspicuously manage.

I distinctly remember overhearing one of my coaches remark to a parent, “Vanessa is fast – but doesn’t seem to do much else besides run.”

Too true sir.

So – not as inconspicuous as I had hoped.

After a couple of years of this charade, and hours spent toodling around on different rec teams, I threw in the proverbial soccer towel and concentrated on the sports I actually cared about – running, badminton, and volleyball.

Fast forward to 2003, when I met the man that I would eventually marry – a lovely fellow who absolutely loved soccer, having played it at a very high level all throughout high school and who still owns two pairs of cleats (best be prepared I am always told) to this day.

During our formal courtship, he inquired if I would ever had any interest in playing soccer with him.

I promptly responded no.

But my reasoning behind my decline was no longer my fear of getting of getting hurt, or receiving a rogue elbow to a lip.

It was everything to do with the fact that, at that point in my life, I couldn’t partake in non-regulated exercise. My eating disorder dictated everything in my life (including any and all physical activity) to such a degree, that anything outside of my normal “controlled” environment was enough to bring on a panic attack.

The few times that I did try and play, everything felt awkward and wrong.

It was almost as though I could feel my body rebelling the moment I walked onto the pitch.

My skin crawled, and my stomach cramped.

In the end I told Marc that I didn’t like playing, that I thought the sport was boring.

It didn’t help, I elaborated, that I wasn’t any good at it. If I couldn’t win at the game, I said, what was the point in playing?

I passed on years of Friday night soccer matches. I watched Marc would go off and play with friends, while I stayed at home.

After my health improved I still stayed away from the pitch, afraid that the ghosts of times past would come to haunt me, the second my foot made contact with the field, the ball.

That was until, at the end of this summer, when a friend (a new friend, but a fab friend) invited me to his birthday party, the first half of which was a pick-up game of soccer.

Amazingly enough, I knew that this situation was a no-brainer. I didn’t just want to go out and play that Friday night, I needed to.

And you know what?

Despite the fact that I was the only on there without soccer cleats AND was clocked in the eye with another good friend’s shoulder, I had an absolutely fabulous time.

Instead of feeling clammy and self-conscious, I felt exhilarated and at-ease.

I actually ran towards the ball.

And I have played at least one a week since.

Marc and I like to head to the many parks in our neighbourhood and practice passing, dribbling, and penalty kicks.

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Blurry, but getting ready to kick some balls!

I have a sweet pair of cleats that make me feel like a superstar.

And heck, when I feel like it, for old time sake – I’ll go out and wind myself, sprinting the length of the field.

Again and again.

Because goodness knows, that never gets old.