What the world needs now

A very hairy situation

Let’s talk about body hair, shall we?

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So.

As a white, western woman, I feel as though it is socially (culturally?) expected of me that I remove most of my visible body hair, save for that atop my head.

I don’t know if it’s my newly minted old age* or what, but I just really haven’t had the time for these expectations of late.

*SARCASM PEOPLE, OKAY?

But seriously. I mean, I really, really hate shaving my legs. Almost as much as I hate shaving my armpits. I hate shaving my armpits THE MOST. Especially in the winter. I’ll go for months without taking a razor to my limbs because of my rampant MEH syndrome.*

*Also sarcasm, but sometimes it does feel this way.

I’m also completely lax about plucking my eyebrows, and I’m starting to believe that the only time I really get around to using my tweezers is when it becomes apparent that I’m only using my eyebrow pencil to differentiate my actual eyebrows from the ever-thickening unibrow taking over the width of my face.

And I don’t know how to feel about this.

On one hand, I don’t want to have to worry about carting around a fainting couch for all those I inadvertently scandalize should they catch a glimpse of my underarm hair, but then on the other hand, I do worry, because my initial reaction to seeing my own armpit hair is pretty darn unfavourable.

(Luckily though, I have yet to employ the use of the couch.)

But overall, this reaction of mine does bum me out.

The fact that I’ve internalized prescriptions of what’s acceptable and what is not when it comes to the completely natural growth of hair on MY OWN BODY makes me glum.

And it is this glumness, combined with my before mentioned  apathy, that makes me feel as though I am catapulted back and forth between NOT CARING and CARING about my body hair.

(I should look into whether or not that correlates with not summer, and not summer.)

Either way, right now, I have engaged NOT CARING mode.

Plus, at the base of it all, I am one of those people that just doesn’t care for sticking around any longer in the bathroom than I absolutely must.

I don’t want to faff around getting ready for LIFE, because LIFE is already completely bonkers and as such, I have enough things to do already.

And also, excuse my horn blowing, but I kind of think that I’m pretty darn snazzy looking as is, and I’m of the mind that whether or not I remove my leg hair everyday – during  the eighteen years of winter I am currently living through no less –  isn’t going to put a significant dent into my hotness quotient.

At least not in my eyes.

I mean, isn’t that what it’s all about anyways?

If you think you look good, who cares either way?

Unless you’re telling me that my leg hair is slowing down my running.

Then we might need to talk.

30 thoughts on “A very hairy situation

  1. He fact that you had the nerve to take a pic of your underarm hair makes you a rare bird, indeed (but we already knew that, didn’t we?).

    I don’t need you to carry it around (you can if you want to, I suppose— it’s a free country, after all!), but it does need hauling down the stairs. If you’re in the market for said fainting couch and want to spend some time in the beautiful northeastern U.S. (I dare say you’ll feel right at home here, it’s in th single digits — Fahrenheit! — I shudder to think what that is in Celcius!), we’d be happy to have you.

    Oh, and I guarantee my legs are hairier than yours. It’s necessary though I need it for the extra warmth. Did I mention how cold it is here? Penguins would b seeking shelter. Ugh!

    Great post! (As always!)

    1. MS. J!! You’re back! *runs off to check your blog*

      Ooof, my sympathies for the weather you are currently experiencing! That is way too cold for my liking. Although I would totally put up with it just so I could spend some time on your fainting couch. Shall we have a leg hair-off? xx

  2. This is so hilarious and of course you are snazzy enough to pull it off! I however do not shave as regularly as I should either and do not feel I’m snazzy enough to pull it off so therefore I’m just going to be good with it and carry around that fainting couch!!!! Great post!

    1. Lol! Let me know if you need any help schlepping that thing around – it’s bound to be heavy! And I have no doubt you are totally snazzy enough. I am the snazzy police after all.

      Gad you liked it! xx

  3. I would be the hairiest woman alive should I have been born that way. I can hardly be bothered to shave my face (so I now just have a beard) so there would be no way I could shave my legs on a regular basis

  4. Hahaha great post! As an Arab woman, I don’t have the luxury of getting away with not shaving. It can get scary! I usually “sugar” anyway, so it’s a once a month process for me (in the winter it stretches to once every two months or so lol)
    Consider it! Much more painful but much less frequent :)

  5. Oh, this had me howling with laughter! MEH syndrome is certainly going around on these dark and dreary days… And if that means the ol’ leggies don’t get shaved, it makes perfect sense to me. You’re totally hot enough to pull it off!

    I shave my legs every other day or it drives me bonkers. And certainly cultural pressures are a big part of it. But I don’t know how separate we can truly be from societal pressure as social beings (still thinking on that one). For the time being, I’ve opted to accept that I want those silky-smooth legs just as much as I enjoy strutting around in skyscraper stilettos. Not that high heels and shaved legs are what it takes to be a woman, but that embracing what I choose to like (as a woman) is empowering.

    So where every you end up on the spectrum of to have or have not body hair, I just say “embrace it”! :) And you’ve thrown out some great things to think about while you’re at it with this post. Have a lovely day, dearest!

    1. Goodness I adore you. I so love the image of you, superwoman that you are, kicking butt in your heels! And yes, you hit the nail on the head – embrace whatever you see fit for yourself. It will only serve to empower you more!

      “Not that high heels and shaved legs are what it takes to be a woman, but that embracing what I choose to like (as a woman) is empowering.” <- HECK TO THE YES!

      xx

  6. I will admit that I am the first to let her armpit get a little crazy since I tend to wear sweaters all the time. But maybe it’s just me and my need to find a silver lining, but I find that after I shave any part of my body which hasn’t been shaved in weeks it is MUCH softer :)

  7. It’s funny how people react to body hair.
    After working in intensive care where I shaved a ladies legs with her daughter while she was unconscious because her daughter said she would be horrified to know how long the hair on her legs was! But then I put on a skirt today, knowing it had been a couple days since I had shaved and thinking, if people don’t like it they don’t have to look! But I made sure I took a couple extra minutes to shave the pits and look for stray eyebrow hairs…because for some reason to me those are not acceptable slips.
    Silly and strange I am!
    Cheers,
    Laura

    1. Neither silly nor strange! Delightfully you :)

      That’s a pretty amazing story about that lady in the hospital. I think the lady would have been very thankful for your help!

      I too plucked a couple of errant eyebrow hairs from my brow today, and I’m sure if it was warmer I would have done the pits as well.

      Enjoy your day Ms. Laura! Goodness knows you always brighten up mine. xx

  8. and i know all you gals (any guise comment?) are all too aware of the boring, yet comical, dilemma ‘older’ guise encounter. IT grows where you don’t want it (e.g., “eyebrows like fruitbats” (garrisonKeillor), in and around THE EARS, weird tufts on the back) and decreasing where you’d actually like some. sigh…

  9. You are so funny. I also alternate between MEH and OMG WHAT IS THIS?!, and am also currently on a MEH kick. Mostly I am annoyed that the hair on my head is blonde and the hair in my armpits is not, and that this forces me to deal with it more often than I feel I should have to. It is a lot of bullshit. But I am too cheap to just laser it all and be done with it. Gah.

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