Please, hold the applause

There are certain things in life that, upon completion, I always expect some kind of award in recognition of my efforts.

This is basically how I feel when I finish these things.

Even though this is completely nuts, and mostly a joke, I’m not going to lie – there is always a little part of me that’s totally incredulous that, after I finish whatever it is that I am doing, a random stranger didn’t just pop out of my closet and be all, “Congratulations Vanessa! You are a champ and a half, and as such, please accept this medal, bouquet of flowers, and massive Swiss chocolate bar.”

(And then the entire neighbourhood would shower me with praise and applause.)

(Or something to that effect.)

So without further ado, here are few of the activities that I always assume, once complete, should be feted with vigour:

1. Shaving my legs (also: shave my armpits and tweeze my eyebrows. See: hair removal in general – seriously, I’ve written about it.)

2. Painting my finger nails and managing to not completely mess them up.

3. Cleaning the bathtub. (Not the bathroom. Just the tub. Because the tub is the worst.)

4. Ironing anything.

5. Eating leftovers.

6. Holding a plank position for one minute straight.

7. Saying that I’m going to go to bed by 10pm and then actually doing it.

8. Fixing anything. (But mostly appliances.)

9. Correctly completing a Word mail merge.

10. Running after work in the rain.

11. Stretching after I run.

12. Choosing anything other than the nutella strawberry crepe. (This has yet to happen. But it will be monumental when it does.)

13. Curling my hair.

14. Using only one water glass the entire day.

15. “Beating” the guy running the other way around the park’s loop.

16. Just as I’m falling asleep, feeling Nymeria jump onto the bed and cuddle up next to my feet. (I’m not exactly sure why this should be celebrated, but it should be stressed that I feel like the best person in the world when it happens.)

17. Somehow managing to put on eyeliner (the one time a year when I give it the old college try.)

18. Doing four loads of laundry and having all the socks pair up.

19. Completing twenty push-ups in a row.

20. Flossing my teeth when I’m too tired to move.

I’m sure there are others that I could add to this list, yet alas, they are not coming to my mind.

So instead, I pass along #21 and onward to you dear readers? What are the normal, mundane tasks that make you feel like masters of the universe?

Do share, as I’d love to know.

In the meantime, I’ll get going on those chocolate bars.

Published by

Vanessa Woznow

Writer, runner, ranter, reader. I write about all things.

30 thoughts on “Please, hold the applause”

      1. Checking videos for it, I’m a runner and I do weights but core I am weak so maybe It’s good for me to work at it :) and hey you’re welcome! I hope you enjoyed today’s sun :) x

        1. I did! But in a bit of a roundabout way. I was in Victoria for business but got to take the seaplane home. It was beautiful! I hope you did too. :)

          And good luck with the planks! It’ll be great for the core!

          1. WOW! I never been on one of those, I see them at waterfront all the time especially when I worked at the shaw towers watching them take off, lucky! :)

          2. It was pretty rad! We took helijet over this morning and as the sun rose it was absolutely stunning. The mountains all backlit against the orange sky. You must do it when you get a chance!!

  1. Hilarious! These are all things you should totally get all the prizes for doing. :) Honestly, I’m the same way. Now and then I finish cooking a super tasty meal and I just kind of expect Paula Deen to call me asking for the recipe and if I can help her co-author a cook book. Actually, come to think of it, most of my delusions of grandeur involve me doing something and someone offering me a book deal for doing it. HA!
    Awesome post, and I hope you win all the prizes and chocolate! How was your weekend?!?!

    1. I would give you all the book deals if I could! They will come one day, of that I am sure!

      And seriously, I want to eat all your amazing culinary creations! Paula Deen would be floored!

      Haha, I can hardly even remember the weekend after the day that I’ve just had. But it was good! Busy, but good! x

  2. #4 really deserves some of recognition. Ironing is the most mind numbingly boring chore I can think of. And #18, it’s miraculous when that happens.
    I also think if I wake more than 20 minutes before I have to be at work, I should get a medal.

  3. whoa, doodette: have i ever “got you beat” — your list of 20 is merely the beginning. however. in the interest of succinct brevity (yeah, i’ll wrap this up w/in a hundread werds i prawmiss) let me begin (& end) by
    WHEN I FINALLY ROLL OUT OF BED to begin whatever day…
    (yahoo!, candy bar, pleez)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s