To whom it may concern

Things I think about when I run

Do you talk to yourself when you exercise?

Because goodness knows I do.

These are the things I thought about over the course of my 6km training run:

Holy frick, I FEEL AMAZING.

My strides are suuuuper. Suuuuper strides.

Hmmm. If I have a particularly saucy dream about someone, could they possibly be having the same dream? URG, stop thinking about this at once.

Okay. How do people go down staircases two steps at a time and not kill themselves?

I don’t actually like pesto as much as I think I do. It’s just SO oily.

I wonder why I also put that extra “s” into obsessive. It’s rather an obsession. OMG I AM SO WITTY.

Stop that.

I am going to cook the crap out of dinner tonight.

Man, what is UP with Canadian politics at the moment? And is Justin Trudeau really going to run for Liberal leadership? He could call his campaign “Just In Time.” And play that album by Justin Timberlake.

Actually, that will probably guarantee his total defeat at the polls.

Don’t do that Justin.

This route is so beautiful and the weather is pretty much perfect. Even if it’s getting cooler every day. The sunrise this morning was so striking it took my breath away.

Not enough people take the time to pause and just let this beauty pour over them. Through them.

Okay Hallmark, get a grip.

Good grief – that lady is just out smoking her joint! And she’s totally, totally a proper OLD. Between her and the dude outside of Douglas College, my day has been chock-a-block full of smoker sightings.

So, like, do people just smoke weed out in the open these days? Is this a thing now?

If I was forced to take a drug test at the end of this run I would have to claim a Ross Rebagliati .

What ever happened to that guy?

Also, someone really needs to bankroll my entirely new wardrobe from Club Monaco.

Jeeze, does anyone even like Banana Republic? AND SERIOUSLY I HATE THEIR NAME SO MUCH – WHY DOESN’T ANYONE EVER TALK ABOUT THIS? I am going to open a competitor clothier and call it “Uneven economic development and social stratification R US”

That may require an acronym.

Oh yeah baby, not even breaking a sweat! Do it do it do it.

That outhouse should probably be cleaned.

Darn it. M has strata tonight which means an empty house for most of the evening.

On the plus side ALL THE DROP DEAD DIVA IS BELONG TO ME.

I own quite a few dresses. I really am going to do that project where I wear all of them and take photos in the exact same post with the exact same backdrop because of course everyone wants to see that.

Mostly I just want to wear all the pretty dresses.

I will call the project “Playing Dress-Up” OR OR OR “Dressing on the Side.”

Hah, I AM witty.

Get out of here.

NO I’M WISE.

Looklooklook that that dog it is wearing a sweater! With little ears on the hood! CUTECUTECUTE. Thooouuggghh…he probably hates his life.

Yep, in total agony fo sho.

K, that driver totally didn’t stop for me at the crosswalk. I hope he gets crabs in the bath.

Too much?

Either way – HOME.

Should I stretch?

Do you ever?

Touché, good lady. Touché. 

Fin.

19 thoughts on “Things I think about when I run

  1. Haha, this article really made me laugh… so funny as had to agree with a lot of what you said including hating the name Banana Republic, lol. Yep, I also come up with all sorts of silly, random thoughts in my head plus being distracted by the weird and wonderfuls as your run by them. I’m sure this article will pop into my head on my next run… thanks for sharing, really made me smile.
    Nicola

    1. Hey Nicola! Thank you so much for the lovely comment :) Isn’t it hilarious the things we think of when we run? Sometimes I start to think that I’m going a bit bonkers…

      So glad you enjoyed it – hope your next run is fab!
      xx

  2. xcept for “Xplorayshuns” — i’ve gradually not only slowed while running, my brain has too! i used to talk whilst R-ing, now i hafta plan when and how to get that monosyllable out. so think and talk and NOT SWEAT while you can, kid!

  3. Oh my gosh you are too awesome and WAY too cool for school. I love this running monologue. Shockingly it sounds a lot like the stuff that goes through my head during those long bike commutes to work… :) I really want to see this dress post now!! Do it do it do it!

    1. Hahaha, why thank you mademoiselle! Although if that’s what is passing for cool these days, we may need to reassess our grading system…

      I can only imagine! You are a super-commuter – I bet your conversations are hilarious :) And I totally am going to do the dress post! I asked the man if he would play photog and he said he would. EXCITEMENT!

  4. Funny enough, I googled Ross a while back. Apparently, he’s in the midst of a divorce. His ex is claiming he smokes too much pot around their kid. lol I will never know why I had a crush on him. Mark Fawcett was way more my type!

    I’ve noticed regular pot smokers in the park I run in. Must be the new fad…go for a walk in a park, get your exercise, breath in fresh air and most importantly it’s away from the ‘munchy cabinet’..aka, the kitchen! No one informed me, so I just run. (always clueless *sigh)

    I put a baby sized t-shirt on my cat once. He sat there paralyzed, looking at me with disdain. Pitiful, I know.

    Thanks for the laughs! Happy Running!

    1. Hey Running girl! Glad to hear it’s not just my park that is slowly being infiltrated by smokers. I too am clueless about these things :)

      The image that I am conjuring up of your cat is hilarious – I can imagine how sad he was, our kitty is the same way.

      Take care, happy (running) trails to you too!
      xx

  5. Psh, I wish I could talk to myself while exercising…would make the whole experience less boring. BUT, I’m about to start swimming laps at the local indoor pool, so perhaps that will lend to some quirky and odd internal conversation. Let’s hope so.

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