I came to the training house looking for a fight

Three things of which I am not ashamed.

1.) I am a recovering anorexic and bulimic.

Sometimes – although very rarely now – after I finish eating a meal, a little voice inside my head tells me to throw everything up.

Sometimes – although very rarely now – after a week of rest, a little voice inside my head tells me that my inactivity has rendered me ugly and powerless.

Sometimes – although very rarely now – I feel as though my skin is itself crawling the length of my body, and that none of my clothes fit my frame.

Sometimes – although very rarely now – I’m afraid to leave the house for fear of others looking at me.

Sometimes it’s hard.

Every day it’s getting better.

One foot in front of the other…

2.) I firmly believe in the importance of first impressions.

Don’t get me wrong, I also believe in second chances, but nothing leaves a mark like an awkward or obnoxious round one in, shall we say, the boxing ring of life.

And in the end, after the bell has run twice, if I still don’t warm to you, I’m probably not going to stick around and try to play-act nice.

I’ll probably just punch your lights out.

(I kid, I kid.)

I mean, I’m not going to treat you like a right-arse, or anything to that effect – I will be polite, or professional, or formal (or a combination of all three), but then I’ll get the heck out.

My cat is also incredibly picky about the individuals with whom she associates.

Plus, if I don’t dig your style, you probably don’t dig mine. It’s a mutual thing, right? It’s not me, it’s you – and vice versa.

I fight tooth and nail for those that I love (in said boxing ring of life), and I put a ton of energy into championing them and their causes. As such, I would prefer to invest my time and resources into helping those individuals.

I am finally at a place in my life where I have stopped completely wrecking myself over what others think of me (I am now known to only marginally wreck myself.)

And I’d like to keep going down this path.

3.) I love, LOVE pop music.

I sing along to Carly Rae Jepsen ALL THE DAMN TIME. On repeat.

I like Robyn.

I like Lady Gaga.

I like LMFAO.

(Seriously, everyday I’m shuffling.)

I love cheesey, dance-crazy, pump-up-the-radio-and-SING music.


And if you ever pull up next to me in your car, at some random stoplight, betwixt the months of June and August?

You’ll see.

There’s no power in the ‘verse can stop me.

Published by

Vanessa Woznow

Writer, runner, ranter, reader. I write about all things.

22 thoughts on “I came to the training house looking for a fight”

  1. I identify with each of your points, though can’t say that I am totally unashamed of my experiences with bulimia. I am still learning, growing and accepting that part of me, but one day I hope to be where you are. I’m still learning about the world, one step at a time… One day I can say I wasn’t born a Shepherd. ;)

    1. I completely understand. It’s all about the process and the journey – one that I take a new step on every single day of my life.

      As long as we keep working at it, we’re all bound to get there someday.

  2. This makes me smile big. I love it, and you! It’s beautifully honest and unapologetically who you are! I’m with you on the pop beats, by the way – it’s the best kind of summer music!

  3. You’re so awesome, I love each and every post I’ve read so far and I admire how easily you make people smile, when you write you make it look so simple to spill your mind. You may have been anorexic and bulimic but that doesn’t stop you from being that sparky person you are.

    I relate to you on the point of first impressions, in real life and in movies especially. Pop and I are friends too :)

    I don’t know how to put the rest of what I have to say in words, my friend, but I will say to you keep on shining Ethel! Cuz you’re a star :D

  4. hanks for sharing and being so open and honest with this post. We all have sensitivities based on things that have happened in the past. I’m glad you’re strong enough to wear these experiences like badges of honour!

    As for POP MUSIC…I’m that one rolling past you in my car blasting Carly Rae outta my Bose System sayin ‘F**k yeah, that’s Carly blasting like it’s hip hop from my speakers!’

    LMFAO are musical genius’.Anyone who says otherwise don’t appreciate music. End. Of. Story.

    1. Ms. B! So nice to see you – we’ve missed you around these here parts!

      Thank you for such a lovely comment and I am so glad to have another pop partner in crime.

      We’re sexy and we know it!

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