Just blowin’ in the wind

Things:

I never sleep well going into a Monday.

Nutmeg and cardamom are two excellent spices that pair quite poorly with shrimp.

New shoes!

IMG_20130304_164206

Even when I think I am sitting up straight, I’m probably still slouching.

My hair is so long that sometimes when I work out my ponytail gets stuck in my armpits.

Sometimes I imagine Brian Mulroney looking at his son, and then looking at Justin Trudeau, and then thinking, “HOW THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN?”

I really must remember to let my bras air dry. I don’t want to give away all my hard earned cash dollars to BIG BRASSIERE.

Donuts are really great.

So is a cup of milky, hot, sugary coffee.

(But never together.)

Dance parties are always worth it, even if it’s only with one other person.

Sometimes it rains sideways, and this makes training runs very uncomfortable.

Richard Ayoade is a stone cold fox.

TopShop is currently trolling us all, but –

Put a bird on it!

IMG_20130304_125221

Yesterday Mr. M and I bought our tickets for the Big Apple and I am SO EXCITED.

I cannot speak, or write “cleaning out my closet” without pretending that I am Eminem.

I like peanut butter M&Ms best.

Also this:

IMG_20130303_151945

Today, the sun is shining and the sky is a light daisy blue – a treat the likes of which we have not seen for many, many moons.

It is mindboggling to think that we are already into March. Indeed – minutes, days, weeks (and months!) seem to be careening by in the blink of an eye.

I just signed up to run the ScotiaBank Half-Marathon with Team Big Sisters. I’m hoping to raise $1000.00 (the same amount as 2011, the last year that I fundraised with the organization.)

After taking some time off to rest my little bones, I am back to full-on training mode. I ran 16km this weekend, and am looking to slowly amp up the mileage as the seconds kick down to my first race of the season: The Sunshine Coast Half on April 7th.

My darlings, do you ever feel as though you are standing the precipice of something huge, but you don’t know yet what it is?

IMG_20130302_210345

I feel as though I am balancing precariously over a large, life-changing expanse, and I want so badly to jump into the void, only I cannot see what I will be getting myself into.

All my nerve endings seem to be extra-sensitive – and the winds of change are making my arm hairs stand on edge.

Maybe I will just have to Alice it – take a deep breath and crawl down the hole.

And if I catch a glimpse of a sign-post (pointing in any which direction), I will be sure to let you know.

Lovers to bed, tis almost fairy time.

Dudes.

A couple nights ago, as I was getting ready for bed (WAY, WAY PAST MY PREFERRED BEDTIME), I turned to my husband and said:

“I have a really great idea for what we should do this weekend.”

He paused, mid-floss and said, “Let’s hear it.”

“NOTHING,” I said. “Let’s do absolutely nothing.”

He laughed, and agreed, saying that my plan sounded tip-top, lindy hop.

Now comes the rub: We have to actually STICK TO THIS AGREEMENT.

(As you might imagine, the two of us have a really, really hard time saying no.)

The one event standing in the way of an extreme rest extravaganza is my stand-up gig tonight downtown (off which I am of course incredibly excited about.)

However, if I don’t concentrate on getting a whack-ton of rest post-show, it’ll be bad times in the Maritimes. Sure, the old adage may be I’ll sleep when I’m dead, but I don’t want that to come true next Thursday at approximately five thirty in the evening.

JUST SAYING.

Anywho, in the interim, let’s see what’s cooking in ye olde Cosmic Kitchen of life shall we?

FRY-UP TIME!

Lost in translation.

We received this flyer in our mailbox earlier this week:

IMG_20130223_151133

Suffice to say that it did a fantastic job of bringing forth all the laughs.

Also, it serves as an excellent example of why individuals should really monitor their use of Google Translation, particularly the importance of not using it for translations longer than one sentence.

IMG_20130223_151144

Although I do really like the idea of bringing back “trading hours.”

It makes me think that I’m living in the wild, wild west.

Or some turn of the century port town.

Either or really.

Onwards!

An assault on good taste.

I was grooving about the aisles of H&M the other day when I espied this mannequin:

IMG_20130218_133810

HOLY SMOKES.

I just – I just don’t know anymore.

I was with a friend who was trying on ACTUAL clothing (like, fit to be seen in daylight and everything) so I didn’t really think it would be appropriate if I took off in order to scrounge up all the makings of this offending outfit, just so I could take a photo of myself in the dressing room and then kill myself laughing at my reflection.

(This is also why it is important that I don’t spend more time alone during my lunch hours.)

(Jen I love you!)

But seriously – is this what the cool kids are wearing these days? I mean, I’m all for keeping an open mind (I like to think I’m mellowing in my old age) but this is rather crazy.

Do the kids who wear this dreck even know Johnny Depp pre-Pirates of the Caribbean? I mean, even I’m too young to know Crybaby.

Also, I’m worried that we just aren’t trying to do anything new fashion-wise anymore and that we are just going to recycle everything from the 20th century over and over again, until the day the sun supernovas, and the stars fade away.

So stop making me have all this silly anxiety fashion world! Hop to it with the creativity!

Sheesh.

Sing it loud.

So I haven’t had many chances to curl up in front of the television of late, so unfortunately I have no tv or movie recommendations for you this Friday. Also, since we don’t have cable and netflix’s offerings have been total bollocks of late, I probably wouldn’t have anything even if I had tried.

On the other hand, I have been listening to some excellent tunes of late, courtesy of the ever fab Lumineers.

They hail from Denver, Colorado, and their awesome blend of folk rock has seen me dancing and singing around my house, like and dancing and singing thing.

So check them out:

I hope you like them as much as I do.

There you have it, my fab chaps.

I hope that wherever you are, it is much dryer than we have it out West – that your days are filled with laughter and mirth, ridiculous take-out menus, and snappy, happy fashions.

You deserve it all, and more.

Some food for thought

Once upon a time I was scared of food.

Not all food, but most kinds.

Anything that I did eat had to be rationalized and picked apart, and most often times, thrown up.

Food was stressful.

Food was guilt.

Food was not fun.

These days, food is (for the most part) none of these things.

Food is a friend, not a foe. It is a tool that helps me lead a healthy, happy life – one that allows me to run like the wind, and tell funny jokes, and make mad-cap films with my map-cap husband.

And not those kind of films, you dirty jerks.

But the busier my life gets, the harder it can be to keep a level head (let alone any semblance of a regular eating schedule) so it’s imperative that I remain extra vigilant, lest I find myself (inadvertently) slipping into oh-so destructive, and oh-so familiar eating habits.

Of late I have had to really catch myself, and take a step back (or ten) just to make sure that I take better care of my health.

So this is why, I present to you the following photos, which I will title – FOOD I HAVE EATEN – as a reminder of why I need to continue to focus on this part of my life, and the brilliance and joy it has, and will continue to bring me.

Veggie burger.

I made this last Wednesday evening. I had just arrived home from work, rain-soaked, and wind-swept, shivering, and starving.

IMG_20130221_174412

Everything in my being was telling me to flop down on the couch with a box of wheat thins and a giant mug of hot chocolate and just call it an evening.

Instead, I took a long, hot shower (the kind that sufficiently fogs up the entire top floor of our place), and crawled into my pajamas, before setting up shop in the kitchen.

With my favourite radio program playing in the background (As it Happens), I chopped onions, and fried mushrooms, sliced cheese, and grilled a patty.

I even roasted some yam fries.

M was working late so I turned on the fireplace, curled up on the couch with little miss Nymeria, and watched some Portlandia, while chomping down on this delicious piece of soy heaven.

I posted this photo, because in the past, I would never have taken the time to make myself something, let alone a meal that was both nutritious and delicious. Plus, sometimes putting something together – even as simple as a burger, makes me feel like a four Michelin star chef.

Or Ratatouille.

Brunch it.

My brilliant and beautiful friend Emily of the fabulous Well Fed, Flat Broke, invited me over to her house last Saturday for a “reunion” brunch of sorts.

IMG_20130223_123205

Myself and all her guests went through UBC’s undergraduate Creative Writing program (nearly five years ago!!!) and it was so lovely to have the chance to catch-up and find out what has been going on in everybody’s lives since our last seminar together.

As we chatted, we munched on all the mouthwatering dishes Emily had prepared (truth be told, there was less chatting the more we munched) including a caramelized onion torte, tandoori cauliflower (my two favourites), roasted squash, and potato salad. Not to mention homemade kiwi sorbet.

IMG_20130223_133423 (1)

In truth, it was a perfectly decadent and divine way to start a weekend (and laid back, thank goodness, as I had been out until 1:30am after my stand-up gig the night before.)

I posted this photo because for many years eating in front of others gave me tremendous anxiety. Everything was calculated, down to the very smallest bite. I wanted to cultivate an image of myself as “a skinny girl” who still “ate a lot”. Now, I can interact with all the smart, sweet people in my life, and still enjoy their exquisite food. I am able to let what I am eating take a back seat to what’s really important – spending time with these wonderful friends.

Birthday cupcake.

My sister in-law’s fiancée’s daughter recently turned six. Being the utterly incredible soon-to-be step mum that she is, V took it upon herself to not only make pretty much the most amazing birthday cake I have ever seen, but also a batch of outrageously delicious cupcakes.

Hanging out with them last weekend, I was lucky enough to sample some of these wares.

IMG_20130223_184247

Believe me when I say it was a dessert experience and a half.

(Seriously, V should think about moonlighting as a baker. I WOULD BE HER #1 PATRON.)

I posted this photo because just eating a cupcake and not letting it tear me apart is not yet something I take for granted. I used to drive myself crazy rationalizing desserts (all food really, but sweets were the worst.)

Did I exercise that day? How much else had I eaten? Could I throw it up if needed?

The fact that I can eat a cupcake and be at peace with this fact, may sound silly, but it means more to me than I can really say.

So that’s it. Food I have eaten.

A series I hope will continue to run, for much time yet.

It’s clear as day

Okay people.

IMG_3203 - Copy

Today I want to talk zits.

Pimples.

Acne.

THE WORKS.

Between grades seven to ten I had a pretty bad case of the pizza face (to use the most unappealing and totally grotesque descriptor that could possibly come to mind). To make matters worse, when I started grade nine, I realized that my blemishes had also begun to migrate to other areas of my body, such as my shoulders, back, and chest.

Being the tank-top connoisseur that I was, not to mention a girl already tormented with braces and glasses, this dispersion, to me, was pushing the boundary of general decency.

I mean, with how much dermatological baggage should a fourteen year old girl be saddled?

Good grief.

So I tried a number of different brands and products in a bid to rid myself from this dastardly affliction, with most of my efforts being, of course, in vein.

I spent my a large percentage of my (minimal) disposable income on topical acne gels, Biore facial strips, and medicated face and body washes just to try and keep those little (and sometimes not so little) red dots at bay.

But nothing ever really worked and I was miserable.

What little else remained of my money was spent on heavy duty foundation and thick translucent powder (powder that I used to “set” said foundation.)

[Ed. note to any teenage readers: THIS IS NEVER A GOOD THING TO DO.]

Waking up every morning and counting the number of zits on my face, hoping against hope that there would be less than the day before, I, like any good overdramatic fifteen year old, was at the point where I began to believe that this would be my life FOREVER.

That was until November of grade ten rolled around and my mother set me up with a prescription for Acutane.

Now, say what you want about this product (and I know there is a ton of legitimate negative literature out there on the subject) but for me, this medication was a godsend.

Sure, my lips were dryer than the Sahara desert the entire time I took those big white pills, but seeing how well (and how fast) my skin cleared up, I would have agreed to a lifetime of chapped smoochers in exchange for the miracle work it had performed on not only my face – but all my other “problem” areas.

Thinking back, I cannot help but smile when thinking about the summer before entering grade eleven.

I got my braces taken off, got new “cool” specs (and by cool I mean the big, black frames I still wear today. I was rocking my nerd glasses way before anyone thought to make them into a trend!), and my skin had completely cleared up.

I remember going to a party at a boy’s house (a boy that would eventually become my first boyfriend) in August and him telling me how great I looked.

I was on top of the world.

Flash forward over the past ten years, and well, during this time I have had both fantastic skin, and not so fantastic skin.

The short and simple answer as to why this disparity exists is this:

I have (and have had) fantastic skin when I have been healthy.

I had not so fantastic skin when I was sick.

Take me at my word kids: nothing mucks up your skin faster than being bulimic.

After particularly awful episodes I would break out horribly, and in awkward places at that – all along my jaw line, across my hairline, and next to my temples (just to name a few.)

And then what do you know, I was back at the drug store procuring that foundation and powder, contemplating whether or not another round of medication was worth the hassel.

In the end, I am happy to report that in its stead, I took the necessary steps to improve my health, and since this time have been back to a non-caked-on-concealer complexion.

However.

The skin on the rest of my body remains as sensitive as a sensitive thing, and seeing as though my skin is pretty much translucent and easily scarred, I have to be very careful about the kind of body washes and soaps that I use in the cleaning process, and about never buying bras that dig into my skin, and about using lightweight workout clothes.

Because if I don’t I’ll most likely get some sweet skin decoration going on – decoration that will lurk around for quite awhile, due to said aforementioned easy scarring.

But honestly, at this point in my life I don’t really care either way.

I don’t have the energy to waste on these matters.

Sure, sometimes this sensitivity grinds my gears, but when it comes down to it – a zit or two on my shoulder will never, ever be something that stops me from doing anything I actually want to do.

And why should it?

It’s funny.

I can still remember a conversation that I had with one of my best friends when we were but thirteen years old.

She asked me: “Would you rather have perfect skin, or always be skinny, for the rest of your life?”

With my body issues beating my skin issues in the race for most damaging control over my life, I easily answered “Skinny.”

I so badly wish I could go back and help that young girl know that the right answer is neither of those two options.

But the again, hey – she ended up finding her way there eventually.

Love is all around me

Hi kitty cats!

My lovely man snapped this bonkers photo of me late Saturday night (actually now that I think about it, it was more like early Sunday morning) after returning home from two shindigs with our lovely friends.

I shouted down from upstairs that I needed him to take a photo of my skirt and as I raced downstairs this is what happened:

IMG_2667 - Copy

I kind of love it.

Almost as much as I love this skirt.

Either way, ho hum, pigs bum.

And elsewhere in the cosmic kitchen –

Kitten love.

IMG_2656

Fondue festivities.

IMG_2666

All the noms were enjoyed in this photo. Oh yes.

Also, in cool news on the comedy front, I was invited to perform at an open mic in Surrey on Sunday night (and I did it! HUZZAH!)

This turned out to be excellent fun times. I brought a rad posse of bad-ass friends to keep me company, as I was a little nervous about being the only girl comic there – as I imagine this position to be one with some inherent loneliness.

I can only imagine how nuts it would have been had I showed up and just proceeded to read some Brothers Karamazov while waiting to do my set.

Actually, I kind of want to do that next time just to see the reaction.

Good grief.

I am also going to be performing at a Pro-Am show on December 20th.

Meep.

So things are happening! Funny things are happening!

In the meantime, I am actually dead alive on my feet after a weekend of madcappery and brilliance.

On Friday night I met up with a fab friend for a post-work drink, and goodness gracious was that ever a laugh and a half.

Seriously dudes, when I say that all the laughs were belong to us, THIS IS NO JOKE.

We also might be clinically insane.

As I rode skytrain home I kept trying to read my book but couldn’t because I just kept giggling like a bloody loon. People were looking at me like I was absolutely mad.

(Not a heck of a lot different from my everyday experience, but hey, at least I’m always enjoying myself, right?)

When I got home M had prepared for us an amazing fondue feast and we gorged ourselves on gruyere before retiring to our newly transformed Christmas den (aka living room) to watch Love Actually and drink scotch (him) and tea (me.)

IMG_2675

Don’t think I’ll ever be able to do the scotch thing, but it seems as though Mr. M is turning into el suavo extraordinaire.

Such a total, total, stud.

The rest of the weekend was a whirlwind of parties, runs, cleaning sprees, gift shopping, and catch-up brunches (are there any other kind?)

Goodness I hope not.

What did you all get up to this weekend?

I want to hear all about it.

(And that’s no joke.)