I’ll fly away, oh glory, I’ll fly away in the morning

Well folks, another day, another early morning hangout at Toronto Pearson Airport.

Early morning hot chocolate. Also, my nails really are the worst.

I am seriously starting to think that I know this place better than I do some of my friends.

I am seriously staring to think that I like this place better than I do some of my friends.


Although said friends don’t have a sweet twenty-four hours David’s Tea, nor do they have sexy fluorescent lighting that give myself, and all of my fellow travellers that all-too sought after “it may be consumption” pallor.

We should all be so lucky!

But back to what I was saying – AIRPORTS.

While I’m not the biggest fan of air flight (particularly takeoffs and landings – talk about hair-raising central!) I do have a perverse like for these giant atriums of travel.

They are the perfect mish-mash of random: Tim Horton’s restaurants (restaurants, hah!), nail salons, the obligatory Hudson Bay Store (we’re talking domestic Canadian airports here, otherwise, please substitute in Duty-Free and some fancy, chain, over-priced wine bar), sit-up massage chairs, totally random shoe shine stations, and store, after store chock-a-block of Tom Clancy and Mary Higgins Clark, magazines, expensive candy, and those head-rest pillows everyone (and yet no one?) seems to buy.

I am currently heading down to Halifax for a family visit, culminating in my cousin Andrew’s wedding taking place this Saturday.

I am the queen of carry-on, and managed to cram three dresses, two pairs of pants, two skirts, six shirts, three sweaters, two pairs of shoes, two winter running outfits, my pajamas, my computer, and all other manner of lady detritus in this here bag:


One day I’m going to get an award for this stuff!

Anyways, in completely different news, Canadian politics is totally nutters at the moment.

I’m not sure if you’ve heard, but Toronto mayor Rob Ford finally admitted to smoking crack cocaine, and yet somehow still refuses to resign from his position.

The man plans on running again next year for re-election!


His exact words:

 “Exactly. Yes, I have smoked crack cocaine. I’ve made mistakes… all I can do is apologize and move on.”

“But, no, do I? Am I an addict? No.”

“Have I tried it? Probably in one of my drunken stupors, probably approximately about a year ago.

How is this man even a real human being!?

I feel like we are living in bizarre world.

If I was a journalist in Toronto right now I’d go around telling everyone that I was “one heck of a crack reporter!”

(Too much, I apologize. But it had to be said.)

Meanwhile, our national political stage is riddled with just as much madness.

Our Prime Minister doesn’t seem to have any knowledge of what has been going on with his Conservative senators, and is likely fuming over the fact that no one gives two cares about his free trade agreement with the European Union, when all anyone wants to do is talk about Mike Duffy’s cheque requisition program.

I am just waiting for Nigel Wright to show up at Question Time and pull a full-fledged Banquo.


I am mixing my Shakespeare all over the place, but I CANNOT HELP IT.

These situations mix me up!

And here in BC (or I suppose I should say “back in BC”, what with this being written in Toronto, or “The Big Smoke” if you will….there is another crack joke there, I’m sure) our premier Christy Clark has reneged on her promise not to go forward with plans to construct an oil pipeline from Alberta, and has instead met with Alison Redford (Alberta’s premier) and put together a set of points on how to go forward.

This decision just kills me.

We are going to be swimming in environmental damage, just you wait.

What drives me crazy here is that Clark keeps talking about how when she was re-elected, the electorate backed her plans to expand BC’s natural resource sector, when 1.) No one wanted this expansion to include a pipeline, and 2.) This woman wasn’t even re-elected in our last election! She lost her riding! She had to re-run in a jurisdiction where she was guaranteed to win, after the MLA-elect gave up his seat!

(Meanwhile, it’s just been revealed that he has been giving a plush position as an economic ambassador to BC’s Asian trading markets. But of course he has!)

But seriously folks, how are we supposed to have any faith in the democratic process, when so many of those involved display the utmost contempt for the entire system?

It drives me batty.

Marc has a theory that politicians should be paid very little money, in an effort to keep out those who are not invested in making the country/province/city a better place, and attract those who don’t care about bilking their travel expense claims for all that their worth.

I’m not sure what the answer is, but I do know that whatever we have going on right now, it really isn’t working.

Much like Mike Duffy, Patrick Brazeau, and Pamela Wallin.


(See what I did there?)

And now I’m off to find some overpriced food to eat with my four dollar water bottle.

I hope you all have an amazing morning.

Wherever in the world you happen to be.

I could do this all day long


Of late, Canadian politics have been going through one heck of a WHAT THE CRAP IS THIS!? phase.

Toronto’s mayor is smoking crack, and when he’s not doing all of the drugs, he’s firing all of his staff.

Our senators are being audited up the yin yang due to their outrageous expenses.

The Prime Minister’s (now former) chief of staff cut a $90,000 personal cheque TO ONE OF SAID SENATORS, before resigning after the entire country found out about what he’d done.

SPOILER: The country wasn’t pleased.

MPs are now leaving the (ruling) Conservative Party, while others are being welcomed back – because HEY! It turns out that in the end they didn’t need to comply with that breathalyzer?

Good grief.

Oh, and yesterday it was revealed that Nigel Wright – the aforementioned  former chief of staff to ol’ STEVIE HARPS (our PM) – had control of a secret fund while he was working in the Prime Minister’s Office.

This was, of course, at the same time that he cut the now infamous $90,000 “personal cheque” to disgraced Senator Mike Duffy.

Damage control. UR DOING IT RONG>

Now, the bright side of this last (bonkers) revelation, is that after it came to light, #PMOSecretFundPurchases began trending on twitter.

People immediately started coming up with the funniest (and wittiest) jokes about what this fund was actually being used for.

Now, being the HUGE Canadian political nerd that I am, I couldn’t stop myself from joining in on the fun.

So may I present to you, what just may be, my finest work to date.

Disclaimer: This probably won’t make sense to anyone who doesn’t live in Canada, or follow our politics.

tweetsTo everyone else – ENJOY!

Warning: May contain nuts

I speak, of course, of Halloween candy and politics.

Doubt it?  Then check this out – this election ad (albeit American) is one of the most unintentionally hilarious things I have ever seen.  All I can ask is, “who the heck who would actually sign off on this?  And why the cigarette?  Can we please stop speaking in clichés? NO SERIOUSLY, WHO VETTED THIS PROJECT?”

Also, is it just me, or during the last round of federal elections, did campaign ads turn into movie trailers?  I felt as though every time one came on the television I was watching a preview for Canada Wars Episode Six: Return of the Majority.

Anywho, in the spirit of Halloween, I present to you, dear readers, my top six costume ideas for those brave and politically nerdtastic souls who are looking to dress up as Canada’s finest defenders of democracy (and all starring players in the above mentioned film.)

So in no particular order, let us start with:

1. Bev Oda

What you need: Black wig, black sunglasses, black coat, lit cigarette, enough self-confidence to wipe out the entire Cosmo-mag empire and a cutthroat side-eye that that screams:  “no if, ands, or buts – I will cut you.”

2. Justin Trudeau

What you need: Crisp tailored three-piece suit, just-floppy-enough-but-just-curly-enough brown haired wig, gorgeous wife and the weight of the entire Canadian Liberal Party’s fate on your shoulders.  Remember: NO FUR.

3. Rodney MacDonald

What you need: A fiddle, two east-coast music award nominations and a huge loss of confidence.  Bonus: the ability to step-dance.

4. Christy Clark

What you need: A David Schreck approved turtle neck.

5. Stéphane Dion

What you need: A super cute dog named after a Japanese city, top-rimmed glasses, silver fox hair-do, and no I’m not going to say anything mean bout M. Dion because I have a huge soft spot for him because he reminds me of the every-dad, and you ask the every-dad to help you with your science homework or to drive you to your volley ball game.  You do not ask the everydad to run the country.  Why?  Because the every-dad is too busy doing DIY stuff in the basement, solving climate change and wearing Cosby sweaters.  COME ON PEOPLE!

6. Pierre-Luc Dusseault

What you need: A fake ID.

As for me?

Today I shed my muggleness for a brief foray into the world of wizardry.