So.
First things first.
Look what happened this morning!
Talk about magic.
Now, on to the important stuff.
The brilliant Ms. J from Ambling and Rambling (the big sister blog to ye olde Rant and Roll) has asked me to pen my 2012 Christmas wishes, as, interestingly enough, one of her Christmas wishes.
How very meta.
So it’s got me thinking (literally, I’ve put on my pondering cap and everything) as to what is it that I want most, for not necessarily myself, but for the entire world as we head into the holidays and New Year.
So let’s just dive right in, shall we?
It’s going to be a doozy.
First, I wish that a fitting punishment be doled out to all these offenders listed below:
–Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â escalator standers
–Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â sidewalk shufflers
–Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â gym grunters
–Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â movie talkers
–Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â chair kickers
–Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â mouth breathers
–Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â staff meeting monologuers
–Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â perpetual cell phone checkers
–Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â non-signalling drivers
–Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â mansplainers
ESPECIALLY MANSPLAINERS.
They are the absolute worst.
Don’t know a mansplainer?
They are those dudes who, because they’re a dude, like to corner women at parties, or bars, or their offices, or the bus stop, and explain to them what it’s like to be a woman, and what, as a woman, they should be doing with their life.
As a woman.
Yeah.
My reaction to this phenomenon is always the same:
THANKS TIPS BUT I’M DOING JUST FINE.
Yeesh.
As punishment, these individuals will have to complete a minimum sentence of twenty years of hard labour, to be served on Baffin Island, carrying rocks from one coastline to the other.
And back again.
However, in a bid to seem lenient, it will be their choice as to whether the rocks are carried North-South or East-West .
(I want to see fair, after all.)
Next!
My second wish is that anyone thinking about getting a pet next year, first looks at adoption options, before purchasing their little one.
There are so just many animals out there that need our help. And if you don’t believe me, just watch that awful Sarah McLachlan SPCA commercial.
(You know, the one that destroys viewers with all those clips of abused and sick puppies and kittens.)
ACK.
I get choked up just thinking about it.
(Seriously, if your heart doesn’t break into ten thousand pieces by the 2.7 second mark of that ad, congratulations, you are officially a psychopath.)
Anyways, what I’m trying to say here is that it would make such a difference if more people looked into their local shelters before buying, because there are so many awesome little gals and guys currently available for adoption who need a warm and loving place to call home.
It was actually at our neighbourhood SPCA that we found Ms. Nymeria, and as you may have guessed, we couldn’t (and wouldn’t want to) imagine our life now without her.
(Even when she’s limbering up her killing paw.)
Phew. Where did all this rain falling on my face come from?
Onwards!
Third on the docket is my wish that Hot Chip returns to Vancouver ASAP, so that I can once again dance my mad face off to them in concert.
(HOW SELFISH CAN I GET, RIGHT?)
But seriously, looking back on the past three hundred and fifty-odd days, this concert was a major musical highlight (in a year already defined by many, many boughts of tonal awesomeness.)
So Alexis Taylor, et. al., – I implore you. Get your groovetastic selves back to Vancity, and STAT.
Over, and over, and over, again.
Side note: I kind of feel like I’m writing a Friday Fry-up here. But on a Wednesday. MIND BLOWN.
Finally, my Christmas wish (my real one) is for the whole world to just take a moment, and CHILL OUT.
Just stop.
Stop fighting.
Stop shooting.
Stop bombing.
Stop spending.
Stop talktalktalking.
Instead –
Start listening.
Start learning.
Start dialogue.
Start change.
Make change.
Make time.
Make beauty.
See beauty.
Love.
See love.
Be love.
Reflect.
Revise.
Breathe.
Believe.
Take one moment, and believe.
Because I believe our world can be better – little by little, person by person.
I believe we can make it better.
And so that is my wish.
I wish for all others to believe.
Rant and Roll 
I wish for a fitting punishment on movie talkers too! We should be allowed to dump pop on them and get reimbursed! Yep, hate them.
YES! This is a perfect plan. They won’t know what hit them (until, of course, they realize that it’s popcorn. HAH!) x
That’s very noble of you to allow the Baffin Island banishees the latitude to choose their direction of punishment. You are far more forgiving than I. Somehow I just can’t bring myself to showing escalator standers and gym grunters any leniency.
As for the rest of your Christmas wish, absolutely movingly fantastic.
What can I say? I’m a benevolent dictator!
Thanks so much Mr. Ad-libb3d :)
This is a most excellent wish list. I’m all over it with you on the wishes for the world – it’s the little things, the good things happening little by little. :) Love your heart shining through it all.
So… speaking of Friday Fryups – can we just make it be Friday? That’s one of my wishes!
And the snow! Are you not loving this?! The only thing that bums me out is that J keeps the plows running so if it snows good for Christmas he will be working night shift. “Yay” says the bank account, “boo” says me.
Hope you are having a rad hump day, my dearest! Big hugs!!
Thanks Ms. Audrey! One and a bit more days and Friday will be here! Yay!!
The snow certainly is delightful – makes everything looks so peaceful and bright :) Until of course the world forgets how to operate normally (what is it about snow that makes people lose their minds I wonder? Hah!)
Happy Thursday misses – I hope your smiling a brilliant smile! x
and those darned wooomynsplainerz …
This made me laugh. Of course!
Love the Chill Out Wish – Oh So True:) Your fur baby is so cute! Have a Great One – May Your Wishes Come True:)
Isn’t she? Goodness, she slays me…
And thank you! May all your Christmas wishes come true too :) xx
I loved this. For me it’s not just the people who stand on the escalator, but the people who stand on the walking side of the escalator. This post put a smile on my face. I love the way your voice comes through in your writing. Super engaging to read. Thank you. You’ve hooked me as a reader.
Hi Christine! Goodness, YES – totally those who stand in the walk side. The mind boggles!!
And thank you so much for this lovely note – this put just a big smile on my wacky face :) I am so glad that you enjoy the blog! x
Hey, Little Sis (and I am so honored to be thus described!)– your list is, as usual and, as I’ve come to expect, thoroughly and completely YOU!!! Love it! Thanks so much for sharing/participating!
I have to turn the Sarah MacLachlan commercial OFF every time I see it. So, I guess I’m not a psychopath. Good to know!
I so loved your list about what we need to stop doing and what we need to do instead. Of course, I’m glad you didn’t include, bitching, whining, and complaining under the things to stop doing. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have a blog. LOL!
The Sisyphusian punishment for the “Mansplainers”? Priceless!
Awwww, thanks Ms. Java! So glad you enjoyed :) (What can I say, I was thoroughly inspired by your post!) Plus, it was fun as heck to write.
And I would never, ever wish for anything that would stop your blog! x
Reblogged this on Ambling & Rambling and commented:
Rant and Roll participated in the “5 Christmas Wishes” (others did, too— I’ll get to you all— don’t worry!)— if, after reading this, you don’t pore over the rest of her stuff, well, then I don’t know what’s wrong with you. Seriously. She’s great!!! Read this if you have a moment!
This was awesome. So many parts made me laugh out loud and the ending made me breathe. Thank you.
Thank you! What a fab fab note :)
Love your list of offenders! I’d also like to add, if I may, the oblivious-to-the-rest-of-the-human-race-middle-of-the-aisle-at-the-market-shopping-cart-stander. Come on, pick a side, for the love of Pete!
On a more important note, I stand in agreement with you on what needs to stop, to start, to change; I love it. Speak it sister!
Oh my goodness, YES! Those much be included, for sure.
Thanks for your lovely note Ms. Rachel! Let’s start the revolution :)
Came over from Ambling and Rambling. Love your list! My fav – love, see love, be love.
Hello Ms. Fern! So nice of you to drop by :) And thank you so much! I’m glad you enjoyed it! x
No probs. I’ll be back [said like Arnold]. :)
This made my day :) LOVE classic Arnie! x
I hate gym grunters too, even more so when it’s a woman and she’s trying to act like a man. And mans plainer, ha ha, my son always tells me what to do!
First, I love your username! So beautiful and romantic :) Second, all gym grunters must be banished, hands down. I just want to go up to every single one of them and say WOW YOU ARE WORKING OUT HARD. One day!
Thanks for the lovely note and for stopping by! Have a fab, fab day. xx
People who park in a No Parking zone and say ‘It’s OK, I’ve got my hazard flashers on.’ Aaarrrggghhh
LOL! Yes, these people will most definitely be sent to Baffin Island. Thanks for stopping by and for the fab note! x
Yeah, Baffin Island is a good one.
Then there’s the problem with women who act like dorks. I know men do, but we have a y chromosome, so that’s the way it is.
Women who act like dorks?
Have fun
Oh yes, nearly forgot. People in a supermarket who ram you from behind with a shopping trolley then tell you to look where you’re going, even though you were standing stock still at the time
YES. Totally this. What is wrong with those people? Maybe they didn’t receive enough hugs and children…
I’m surprised the world works at all with so many of us crotchety people arond
Found your site through Ms. JavaJ…love this! Wacky and sweet just the way I like it! I’m going to check out more of your site!! Melissa
Hi Melissa! Thanks for the lovely note :) So glad you stopped by and so excited to check out your site too! x