Oh, my heart. My heart.

I like knowing where others have been.

A woman’s perfume that lingers. The faint trace of a cigar, long-extinguished.

It makes me think about all of the lives I may never know.

All of the hearts I may never touch.

This morning I woke to a stretching sun. A ball of bleached blues and sherbet hues, melting its way across the frozen skyscape.

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Before the herald of the first alarm, I silently stole from my scattered dreamspace, and crept into the cool dark of the house.

Nymeria yawned and quietly mewled from her corner of the chesterfield, her eyes squinting in discomfort as I turned on one of the small side lamps.

The soft light illuminated the many discarded tea mugs and half-finished books populating the table space of the room.

(Hallmarks of a busy workweek and my inability to ever finish a drink.)

I drank a demi-cup of sugary, dark coffee, and read from one of the books, marvelling all the while at the stark beauty, ablaze, across the New Westminster waterfront.

I then slipped into my beautiful new running pants, laced up my runners, and set forth to immerse myself in the golden glow of a world, seemingly reborn.

There are times in my life, where I am unable to stop myself from crying. Tears stream easily, unencumbered from the corners of my eyes. They are fat pearls of emotion – of happiness beyond equation.

Beyond compare.

And this morning I cried.

Racing time.

Racing an untameable sun.

I felt as though I could keep moving forever. That I might blend my body to my path, eternal.

Returning home, I caught a fragrance of a women. And for that moment, I breathed a life; a mind, body and soul – now vanished, or perhaps vanquished – within the thrum and hum of a waking day.

And I was hit with a sense of nostalgia so strong, I quaked.

I was five and cuddled up next to my mother as she read aloud to me on my bed; I was ten and exploring my grandparent’s basement bookshelves, as the dust swirls sparkled in the amber light; I was nineteen and working late closing shifts, experimenting with eye contact and fake names; twenty-four and riding my bike down Hagley Road under the muggy, Brummy sun; twenty-nine and dancing my heart out, my hair stuck to my back, and my calves like two hot rocks; thirty-five and forty-four, and sixty-seven; I was past, present, and yet-to-be present.

Who are we all?

Why are we here?

From where are we going?

Infinitesimal sums of beauty and strength, of wonder and light, of magic and marvel, of love, of love, of love.

So just keep breathing.

And let in the light.

And all through the house

Happy Christmas eve beauty cats!

After a good twenty-eight hours of traveling, M and I finally made it to Halifax safe and sound.

We had a long wait at SeaTac, so we enjoyed some wine and dessert at one of the airport’s lounges.

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Wines from Spain, Argentina and Chile. We liked the Chilean the best.

It’s a hard life, but you know, we’re happy to take one for the team.

(It’s pretty nuts knowing that it’s cheaper for us to drive to a DIFFERENT COUNTRY and then fly back to Canada, than to just purchase tickets out of YVR, BUT! That is a post for another day – I am too relaxed, and the house smells too good, and I am wearing too sparkly of a skirt, and I have a too sleepy cat in my lap to care all that much.)

I am warm, and happy, and snuggly, and fab.

The city here is cold, but beautiful, and our house twinkles in the glow of tea lights and fire light, and the snow flurries wink as they dance past the windowpanes.

ALSO. We have big, BIG news!

My sister and her long-time partner Mel just got engaged!

This fills me with so much happiness it’s practically impossible to communicate just how truly chuffed I really am. They are a brilliant couple and I cannot wait to see them declare their love for one another in front of family and friends next summer in New York.

We’ve only been here but a day and things are rolling like rolling things.

Here are some snaps for the past twenty-four hours:

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Fireplace mantel decked to the nines.
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Snoopy skating about the place. An all-time favourite ornament for all three sisters.
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Beauty sister.
Basement cat Simon. Getting pats from Mr. M.
Basement cat Simon. Getting pats from Mr. M.
Monsieur Rufus doing his own thing, despite our pleas for him to get off the table.
Monsieur Rufus doing his own thing, despite our pleas for him to get off the table.
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Cousins are doing it for themselves. In flannel.
Our tree trimmed with care.
Our tree trimmed with care.

Wishing you all the merriest of merries, and a Christmas filled with laughter and love, friends and family, peace and joy.

I toast to each and every one of you! xx