‘Tis the season

Shit dudes.

The internet.

It’ll get ya.

See, I was reading Sarah Jane’s first fashion post, and one second I was marvelling at her adorable outfit, and the next I was deep in the bowels of Forever XXI’s “Festive Finds!” webpage, desperately emptying my shopping cart and manically clearing my browser history.

Honestly, it’s a good thing that I have some modicum of self-control, lest I find myself spending hundreds of dollars (on the regular!) on every single sparkly shift dress that I happened to encounter, whether in-person or over the world wide web.

Although what really grinds my gears is that I spent the majority of the time looking for this dress without any luck whatsoever:





This dress may exist somewhere in the Forever XXI online ether, but for all I know, having it displayed on the site’s landing page is just a clever ploy to get shoppers to 1.) look at their wares for sale and 2.) just end up purchasing some other piece of clothing in its stead, because everything costs less than thirty dollars so who really give a crap anyway?

(This is just a theory of course, but one that I think may have legs.)

One question I do have for everyone is:

Is December really a time where people gallivant about, going to multiple holiday parties that require a continual rotation of fancy duds and perhaps also champagne flutes, and other cliche Christmas-inspired accoutrement?

Is this a thing that really does happen?

(I am inclined to think no, but then again that one Joe Fresh ad that keeps popping up on my Facebook feed is making me believe that the majority of others are very much disposed to think otherwise.)

I mean, I love December and the many social engagements that it brings. I normally receive invitations to two or three friend-thrown parties, and maybe Marc’s staff Christmas get-together, plus fun, after work low-key hangouts with good friends that I have not seen in a while (the operative word here being “low-key” – we’re talking fireplaces, hot drinks, comfortable clothes, and a lot of laughing.)

But it’s definitely not as if I am careening about from event to event on a nightly basis.

My schedule, busy as it can be, would never require the purchase and cultivation of multiple yuletide specific getups.

There are only so many party skirts one gal can handle over the course of thirty one days.

Plus I’m also apt to believe that after a week of solid fa-la-la-la-ing I would literally be forced to throw out the partridge and chop down the pear tree.

But maybe I am completely wrong – perhaps there really are individuals out there, who spend the entire month decked out in their finest metallic body-con minis (googled it for you), partying each and every night to the strains of Bandaid 30, drinking their Bailey’s on ice, and waiting until they get to the top of the grandest of staircases to bite into their Ferrero Rochers.

(Can you tell my love for Christmas springs not from its spirit, but from its ridiculously cheesy and year-to-year repetitive series of advertisements?)

No doubt that for this my name is firmly entrenched at the top of Santa’s naughty list.

Which if I had to put money on it, is definitely another section of Forever XXI that I haven’t had a chance to explore.

Haven’t had a chance to explore – yet.

Published by

Vanessa Woznow

Writer, runner, ranter, reader. I write about all things.

6 thoughts on “‘Tis the season”

  1. I will comment more later, and I must admit, I skimmed your post because I’m exhausted. But the “googled it for you” caught my eye, and when I then re-read its context, I realized a) the body-con minis are cute, some very pretty, all sexy if b) you have that kind of body and don’t mind wearing NOTHING underneath OR c) you just give up on clothing altogether as the (UN)lovely Kim Kardashian has done. I seriously believe her backside has been Photoshopped or she suffered some kind of congenital deformity in that general area of her body, in which case, I should not jest. Oh, who am I kidding? She’s a wanker!

    Body-con = body condom, correct? Unfortunately, that dress does not protect, yet more than encourages, unwanted pregnancies no doubt.


    1. ha! H R H is clever w/ the body conundruminium snaggle! too bad it’s MEEE reading some of yer posts, where-as Betty would have puhlentee to identify (and co-miserate) with!
      our holiday plans were somewhat set, but my emergency eye surgery (can you tell i’m typing this half blind?) this past monday has slowed down the haul-ID-daze a bit — e.g. we’re NOT in steemboat today, but still should be in Orygun for that other upcoming holiday. cheers!

    2. I like short dresses, but always tend to steer towards something looser. Paired with some tights and some chunk heels/boots and BOOM. Mischief managed. Bodcon as far I know it means body conscious (for how tight fitting the dresses can be) and I too think some are lovely. I just get a little shirty with the thought of actually putting one on (no pun intended.)

      The Kardashians are total wankers and I can’t help but feel are setting back the women’s movement by centuries with all of their inane crap. Dah!!

      1. Kardashians, father excluded (may he RIP), have set the whole human race back. I fear it’s too late to save anyone who “follows” them in any way.

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