For almost two straight years I wrote faithfully here at Rant and Roll.
Without exception, I published posts on Monday, Wednesday and Friday (and often Tuesdays and Saturdays, depending on when extra inspiration would strike.)
Nowadays, it’s less that I am uninspired to write (in fact I find myself reaching for my laptop more often than not – what with the unending stream of ideas percolating away inside of my brain. Sometimes I actually imagine these conceptions as small nuggets of gold, and my mind as one giant, ever swirl-swirl-swirling miner’s pan.)
It’s just that, I just can’t seem to keep track of days, hours, space, and time – let alone said nuggets.
Flip open my computer on any given day and you will find three or four half-finished posts (as well as three or four half-read Grantland, Jezebel, and Deadspin articles.)
There may even be a Youtube video or two for your viewing pleasure.
So where does that leave me? Where does that leave us?
Pretty much at the same place where I have been treading water for the last six or so odd months.
You see, I just don’t ever remember life being quite this bonkers – always barmy yes, but never to the extent where I feel as though days are simply slipping between the crooks of my fingers and the dips of my toes.
But the crazy thing is (and the big difference from six months ago), is that I don’t feel scared or upset by this.
(At least not anymore.)
Because these days, the warm weather, and fantastic runs, and fabulous friends, and fantastical reads – and all the other magical magic that make up this incandescent, resplendent, and transcendent life of mine – make me want to cut each day up into one million of the finest fragments and carefully sew each one into a soft and sinuous blanket that I may wrap myself in for all of the ages.
And they make me want to share it all with you.
Whenever,wherever the time may be.
Sugar (da da da da da daaaaa)
I haven’t eaten junk food in six days.
That is six more days than my previous longest record.
Prior to this almost-week, I am fairly confident that had I ever been the subject of a medical autopsy (as opposed to all of those recreational autopsies), the corner performing the operation (always Dana Scully in my imaginaiton) would have found my corpse to be comprised of 1/3 Rogers product.
However, in a bid to curb my anxiety, up my health-quotient, improve my running (just in case I ever decided to full-on try that competitive racing thing), decrease my chance of familial-susceptible diseases, and just in general TRY SOMETHING NEW – here I am.
The ex-chocolate bar queen.
And you know what?
It’s been the absolute best six days of life.
(It would seem as though in a bid to replace my discarded crown, I am now the queen of excessive use of hyperbole.)
Marc and I have been cooking amazing dinners, eating the delicious produce grown from our very own backyard, and taking the time to sit outside and enjoy our meals.
I cannot quite explain to you how nice it is to bide my time and prepare a delicious and nutritious dish, instead of eating seven oreos and then complaining about how much my stomach hurts, and then dreading the task of forcing a few bites of a meal down my throat (only to be starving three hours later and repeat the first step which would then ensure a redux of the hurt tummy blahs.)
I think this renaissance (can it be a renaissance if you never remember living the process a first time around?) will be one I stick with.
She was looking pretty beat.
A post-Tough Mudder snap:
On the plus side, I carried my 180 lbs partner 100 meters and was the fifth woman to finish the course.
On the downside:
Revisiting this genius:
So if Bradbury is my all-time favourite author of life, Heinlein is definitely in my top-20. The dude can not only write, but sweet mother of pearl does he ever make you think.
He may not make me quake, and cry, and shake, an die like ol’ Ray, but Bobby A too has a few tricks and treats up his sleeve.
About a boy.
Look at this dude.
HE IS SO CUTE I CANNOT EVEN.
This August will mark eleven years that I have had this brilliant, bonkers man in my life.
That is like – more than one third of my life.
(That is like, MORE THAN A LONG TIME OF MY LIFE.)
How do you even spend that much time with someone and now bludgeon them to death with a pineapple one morning over brunch?
I have no idea.
Good thing we never eat brunch.
Anywho, he’s just such a marvellous person who makes my silly little heart smile all the time, and sometimes I feel like a broken record just waxing eloquent all the live-long day about all of the full-stop brilliant things he is doing with his life, but I don’t care because he is a difference maker and world builder and all of his energy and brilliance shines light into the lives of his many students, and his words, and deeds, and thoughts and passions impact so, so many who come up to him and say “thank you thank you” and those who may not even know it, but who will wake up one morning, on a sun-drenched Thursday morn, and just think to themselves, “wow.”
Because that is what I do.
17 thoughts on “Sometimes fabricated, always real”
I don’t know when I last was able to keep track of days, hours, space, and time – it’s all a blur, but it’s a different way to live and you get used to it and it never slows down but that’s half the fun. I love your writing, lady – keep at it, even if it seems like the crazy has long since spiraled out of control. It has, but in the best way.
“even if it seems like the crazy has long since spiraled out of control” <— basically the best summation of life. Reminds me a bit of good ol' T.S. but less brooding.
Thanks for the kind words friend – it's good peeps like yourself that keep me chewing through those leather straps each a.m. :)
I’m sorry Vanessa, but Fangette has already been crowned “The Queen of Excessive Hyperbole”, perhaps you can be the Countess?
I’m with you on the bludgeoning of one’s spouse — it always seems, well, excessive (how’s that for overusing a word? Perhaps I can be “The Queen of Overused Words?”). Also, it would require a fair bit of energy, this bludgeoning, no? Smothering would be a damn sight less taxing.
I will admit it, I don’t understand the whole “mudder” thing. Of course, I barely understand the whole running thing. For that matter, all forms of public exercise make me feel silly. If I’m going to sweat, it’ll be in the comfort of my own home. And, let’s face it, likely the reason for this will be a malfunctioning air conditioning unit and not my being engaged in bicycling in place.
No sugar? OMG — Kudos to you! Honestly, good luck with that. Supposedly it’s a good thing to do — kick the sugar habit. I wouldn’t know.
It’s always lovely to hear from you :) I particularly love our chats from Sky Train! Talk to you soon :)
Fangette and I have quite a lot in common in that regard! I will take Countess, and gladly!
Smothering might be less taxing, but also perhaps less satisfying? Ack – this is getting dark…
Haha, well, the mudder thing is definitely not for everyone…I still have some pretty neat bruises up the length of my shin bones. I’m hoping they’ll be gone by the end of the month. :)
And yes! No sugar. I cannot quite believe it myself, but somehow it’s happening.
I LOVE our skytrain chats. They are the biggest delights – until the next one! x
You are living the crazy, busy life my friend and you do it with humor – I love that :) I have been with my greatest someone for almost 15 years with 10 of those years married and I wonder and ponder that question too – ha! Our parents are 40+ years married as well as 2 sets of grandparents that made it 60+ years married – learning as we go and from them. Happy Week :)
Haha! Well thank you Ms. R – you know it makes me feel so happy that I am able to bring the laughs. :)
Wowza – 15 years is most definitely something to celebrate! As always “my greatest someone” is a term that fills my little heart with so much love. It truly is a testament to how much that other soul means to yours. :)
Happy week to you too! May all the happiness come your way!
THAT is so cruel! baked cod wrapped in baykinn ! send me some RITE NOW !
those mudders are, obviously, tough. google/look-up “10k @ 10k” on top of Rabbit Ears Pass near steamboat. i asked sunny b(w)oi where could we run with all our dogs leash-less and that’s where we went. we had gone up, made the turn (no turning back on the loop) and encountered the almost impenetrable forest of doom (snowbanks waist-high every 200 yards, downed trees, sticky icky gooey swamp where there weren’t snow-banks — i had the epiphany: we should charge people $40 or $50 each to “run” this snow/mud/obstacle run! and yer in luck: NO pixures!
(i’m still havvin mooocho trubbul with your site’s colour combination. izzit just me?)
Dooooo it! Jaime Oliver is a dastardly genius. I hope you love it as much as we!
Send me a link for that trail – there are too many 10ks out there. Google is bombarding me with races, no matter what I search.
Good lord though – that sounds like quite the trek. Did you at least have fun? And you TOTALLY should start that race. You’ll make a darned killing. KILLING!
I have no idea what could possible be causing this colour combo. Booo. It’s actually quite lovely with the green! :/
Just stopped by to say that I really do enjoy reading your blog from more than a year already. Thanks for all this wonderful articles, which inspire me a lot.
Sometimes your words makes me smile, sometimes makes me cry, sometimes makes me feel that I can do more than I do now in my life and try to be good blogger and so on, like you!
Keep on doing this!
Greetings from Bulgaria!
Kiki, the Stranger ^^
Can I just say how much it made my day to get your lovely note? It was such a brilliant surprise! :) Thank you so much for reading, and for sharing your thoughts. All my best wishes for an amazing week and many good days of living, laughing, and blogging! Visit again soon! xx
Vanessa, you are such a transparent and articulate writer. Better yet, a top notch express-er…because you put the things inside of you so well once you let them out. I’m currently out of the southern heat for a friends’ wedding in Michigan, and as I sit reading about your thoughts and happenings, I’m encouraged.
Because I can relate to the lack of desperation you describe within my own muddled mind and actions over the past year. Once upon a time, I fretted and fussed over details, often the professional and social. I was consistently comparing myself to those close to me and those I perceived from afar or through social media. It isn’t just the move that has allowed me to distance myself from this practice. There seems to be a calm settling in to coexist with my internal chaos. You say so many things that I can’t, and you help me set those things free.
Thank you so much for this note.
I know I say this so often, but I really do wish we lived in the same city (instead, of, you know, literal opposite points of each other in North America, hah!) You are a soul sister Ms. Laura Beth. Thinking of you this morning.
b ‘n me been mallied (‘married’ from Pretty N Pink) for … uh … this will be año numero cuarenta-uno !
how’z kitty takin’ to the gnu dyggz ?
and below is Bruce (from G V ZOO Quest/Nature Center, in Fruita). did i mention we “donated” Bruce? (i still think it’s a long-term loan)
Nymeria loves our new home. SO much. It’s actually really calmed her frazzled nerves being in the new space.
And 41 years is worth celebrating. It means love, and that’s the thing (isn’t it?)
my comment is waiting moderation? darn it, i knew soonerURlaytur yore spam filters would “figure me out”!
WordPress is on to you!
Thanks for finally talking about >Sometimes fabricated,
always real | Rant and Roll <Loved it!