The best things in life are free


I’ve been trying to save up my sweet cash dollars for a while now, what with the upcoming summer months being chock-a-block full of fun and fancy things (like trips to NY, and Ashland; weddings galore, and my five-year wedding anniversary, to just name a few.)

Now, stashing all my hard earned moolah under my mattress hasn’t really been all that hard – what with how unbelievable busy I have been since the birth of the new year, and me not being an overly extravagant person (outside of my personality, of course).

But yesterday I was in London Drugs, hemming and hawing over two brands of nail polish – practically having a conniption fit over which one I should purchase – when my lovely husband turned to me and said, “Vanessa – they are $4.99 each. I think you can maybe splurge and get both.”

My response was rather short.

“Huh,” I said.

Huh indeed.

So I did. I purchased them both.


And I am (kind of?) proud to say that I only spent about five minutes worrying about whether or not I had gone overboard.

But that’s when it hit me –


For real dudes.

I am Scrooge McDuck, incarnate.

(The fear that this strikes in me is only partially quelled by my long-standing desire to go swimming in a giant vault filled with nothing but gold coins.)

Side bar: As a child, I used to think about the logistics of what exactly doing the front crawl in a pool of coins would entail. I thought about this  A LOT. I mean, if you just dove right in (off of a diving board and everything) wouldn’t you just concuss yourself on the massive pile of coinage? And if you DID manage to break through, wouldn’t you just DROWN in the literal manifestation of your ridiculous wealth? For reals, that idea – of drowning in a giant pile of metallic (I know it’s gold, but I just think of how terrible pennies feel and smell) awfulness is enough to bring on a panic attack.


Must. Think. About. Other. Things.

Okay, back my curmudgeonly ways.

This isn’t to say that I’m scrimping on the bare necessities (nor Mother Nature’s recipes). I like to think that I still exit the house looking swell, and I’m definitely eating foods filled with enough nutrients to stave off the scurvy and the rickets.

I’m just stopping myself from buying anything that I don’t absolutely NEED, even though there are tons of things out there that my little, silly heart so very much WANTS.

I mean, I think it’s normal to get to a point where you look at your clothes (in particular your work clothes) and think to yourself: I CANNOT EVER WEAR ANY OF THIS STUFF EVER AGAIN.

I think I’m also thinking this stuff because the weather REFUSES to cooperate and I’m still wearing much of my winter wardrobe despite the fact that we are almost at the end of April.

Let me break out the bare legs and dresses damnit!

And I really think there is something to be said for learning to really understand where it is your money is going, and how you can optimize your saving potential BLAH BLAH BLAH.

But then the other part of me is all: I’M TWENTY-EIGHT! LET’S PAAAAAARRTY!

*Eats peanut butter M&Ms and cupcakes for dinner*

So in an effort to find some middle ground, I went out the other day and purchased these amazeballs (YES I SAID IT) pants:


I mean, how epically fantastic are they OR WHAT?


(Or clams, or bones, or whatever the cool kids are calling them these days.)

Meanwhile Marc, being the HUGEST anti-fan of patterned pants is totally thinking, “She could have just bought three more bottles of nail polish!”

Alas, he will just have to walk two steps in front/behind of me whilst I’m out rocking these pantaloons.

And they will be rocked, oh yes.

I mean, I’ve got to look good when I’m out not buying anything, right?

There’s no other way I’d rather be.

Published by

Vanessa Woznow

Writer, runner, ranter, reader. I write about all things.

24 thoughts on “The best things in life are free”

  1. You’ve just talked me out of buying something just because it’s cheaper. Like that old long dress I bought for $5.00 and he won’t let me out of the house in it.

  2. Loving those pants and yes Mr. Craves would be walking way of ahead of me or way behind me – ha:) I was like the Rainbow Bright of shirts on Wednesday for work and the gym – plus having bright shoelaces on my sneaks. Happy Friday – Happy Weekend!

  3. Dearest Ethel, my old chum, SO good to see that you are still AMAZEBALLS as ever!!
    Yes, it’s me, back from the land of the lost! Good to see you, and my goodness, I’ll certainly see you coming several streets away in those pants!

    1. MS. RANN!!! OMG. You ARE BACK! (I have no non-capped feelings about your return.) What’s been happening? Haha, and yes, I am like a beacon in these pants! x

  4. Those are awesome pantaloons! And, gosh, yes I get the shivers every time I think I might be going overboard with the non-necessities of life. I have even been known to hold onto something while walking around an entire shop before giving up and returning it to its place. It’s madness! However, one must not refuse a sale for fancy pants.

  5. Love the pants. Hope you’ll wear them tonight!

    Also: lol’ing over the whole gold coin anxiety attack and: “She could have just bought three more bottles of nail polish!”

  6. Absolutely LOVE those pants!
    And my darling, you are worth spending some money on! It is possible to have thinks you want and not go over-board. Plus, if you don’t buy things you want now…when will you?

    1. THANK YOU! I knew you would love them and couldn’t wait to hear what you thought!

      And you’re right! Like I said above, I think Donna and Tom from Parks and Recreation say it best: TREAT YO SELF! x

  7. That would be fun to go swimming in a sea of gold coins, but I’m thinking a little uncomfortable.

    It’s okay to treat yourself now and then. If you have it, might as well enjoy it, right?

    1. I agree that it wouldn’t be the comfiest. And you’re right, in the immortal words of Donna and Tom (Parks and Recreation): TREAT YO SELF! xx

  8. Oh my gosh! You conjured up a memory (wonderful? terrible?) for me. Whenever I wouldn’t eat my dinner my Mom always used to say “You know if you don’t eat that you’re going to get scurvy scurvy and rickets (for some reason I remember her repeating scurvy twice). Sometimes I urge my kids to take another bite of broccoli but I just can’t find it in myself to scare them into eating!! haha!! To this day I have no idea what scurvy and rickets are but they sound terrible!

    1. Lol! I love it. Your mum is SUCH a trip, it’s just the best. I’m pretty sure my mum did similar things. I always thought that if I ate raw cookie dough I would get worms! Haha! x

    (you are freeking phunny).
    i should do my nails like that. i KNOW yerrite about the pool full of pennies: they smell plus there’s a ‘feel’ to them. i KNOW about things like that. i yoosta be a noomissmatist.
    unfortunately, i also UNDERSTAND (axually, i don’t “understand” — stuff like this is a mystery, a sad bad terrible afflixion out of control). ahem… i was going to write/say i understand about peanutBuddr M&Ms and cupcakes, as i’m just ever-so-slightly older ‘n you, and most nights at about 10 p.m. I MUST HAVE CHOCOLATE & eat an entire hershey’s bar.

    1. LOL! Seriously, thank you! (I really take this to heart, because you bring the laughs ALL THE DARN TIME.)

      Urg, the feel of pennies is just the worst. Thank goodness the canadian government has finally decided to do away with them. Now I just have the silver coins to contend with.

      You are really my kind of people, by the way. A chocolate bar before bed is basically my “apple a day…” Good to know I am in good company!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s