Stirring up trouble

Hey dudes.

Do you want to know what is the absolute worst thing ever? Like, in the world?

I’ll tell you what: FIRE ALARM TESTING.

Yeah, I’m about two shrill shrieks away from a murderous rampage to end all murderous rampages.

Not to mention the fact that my poor cat is utterly traumatized.

At first, when it started this morning, she was all, “MOM! WHY!?”:

And as the day progressed, she morphed into a fragile shell of her former amazon-Dorne self, until I found her like this in our upstairs office:

The poor thing had eyes as big as saucers.


If these bastards aren’t finished soon, I’m going to take a dump in their boot and cut the brake lines in their van. Don’t think I won’t do it!!!



Okay. That was too much. Dial it back there Eth, you’ve gone too far.

Sorry folks, I don’t know what got over me there.

But seriously, my head is pounding, my ears are ringing – even my heartbeat seems all off.

In short, I feel like utter rubbish, and I look like it too.

(But not smell. I smell like vanilla deliciousness.)

About an hour ago, peering at my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I instinctively recoiled.

“FIE! AWAY FOUL BEAST AND DIE!” I shouted (because as you know, I live in a Shakespeare play.)

Either way, things were circling the drain, AND QUICK. So what did I do to combat this malaise? This lethargy of the soul, and hideousness of the face?

I did what any (semi) sane vegetarian would do.

I made a vegetable stirfy.

Pics or it didn’t happen you say?

GOOD THING I BROUGHT THE BIG GUNS. Let’s dive in, shall we?


Eat some carrot pieces if you so wish. I often do.

Don’t forget the onion!

Or the garlic for that matter.

Preeeeety colours.

Add the eggplant early because it takes the longest to cook.


Definitely take time to be a weirdo.

Sgt. Peppers

Why I’m so strong.

So saucy!

The final product.

Dig in!

p.s. I have a secret. I want to tell you all, but I must keep it safe until the time is right. FRODO BAGGINS!

Yep. Officially mad.

Published by

Vanessa Woznow

Writer, runner, ranter, reader. I write about all things.

27 thoughts on “Stirring up trouble”

  1. That stir fry looks very tasty … what’s your saucy sauce? Also, it looks like you’re using the fancy farmer’s market garlic … it’s so good. I really had no idea that standard garlic is crap until I tried the real thing this summer…

    1. My friend Bob actually grew that garlic! He is somewhat of a garlic whisperer. The sauces I use are sweet chili, low-sodium soy sauce, and sriracha. Gives it a tempered, sweet kick (in my opinion :)

    1. Awww, thanks! My eyes often change colour throughout the day – they start out hazel, and by the evening I’m rocking the emerald like a nutter. In terms of my stirfrys, I live by my life motto: Go big (on the veggies) or go home!

    1. I cannot wait to spill the proverbial beans (but as it may amount to nothing I cannot get ahead of myself.) – Must emphasize that I am not with child, as I feel as though the more cryptic I am, the more pregnant I seem.

  2. Aaaahhhh! Love this and you! So sorry about the fire alarm madness – nothing like that obnoxious beeping to drive you to poo in someone’s boots. ;) I was falling over laughing at that one!!
    And the stir fry looks deeeeelish! Dinner at your place. The photos are great, love the colors. :) Happy Wednesday to you, mi amiga!

    1. Hey pretty! Haha, thank you for laughing with me! I was seriously on the verge of madness yesterday (and much more debased acts it would seem!)

      Dinner was definitely a good way to bring me down from the ledge. :)
      Happy Wednesday to you too!

        1. Thanks dude! That’s pretty much my m.o. – veg the majority of the time, but break out the seafood every so often to spice things up. Probably going to cooks some prawns tonight.

  3. 1. I’m terribly jealous of your veggie cooking. And also inspired. TO THE GROCERY STORE!! Today is an excellent time to break in my wok I got for Christmas yet haven’t used yet. Lazy.

    2. The first week I moved onto campus in college, they decided to “test the fire alarm” (aka it was broken and they couldn’t make it stop) one evening. It went off at 6pm. And then 7pm. And then 8pm. Don’t forget 9pm. It skipped 10pm, but guess what happened at 11pm? I wanted to kill someone, especially since the dorm had nice concrete walls and floors, and nice tall ceilings, which made the nice fire alarm butcher your ears. Ugh. That’s why I now take super-quick showers – I was always frightened the fire alarm would go off while I was bathing, and no one wants to see that.

    3. What is this sauce you used for your stir-fry?

    1. That was sweet chili sauce – but I also used sriracha and low sodium soy sauce. Let me know how it goes if you give it a try!

      Urg, that fire alarm story sounds like the absolute worst. Although your speed showering is pretty darn hilarious!

  4. I love your spinach eyes! haha.

    Oh man I bet that garlic rocks. We picked up some smoked garlic a few weeks ago and it was pretty awesome. But it’s 3 hours back to that market so I don’t think it will be a common delicacy here… haha

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