Like a monkey with a miniature symbol

Hey kidlets!

It’s once again time for another Friday Fry-up. So let’s not waste time mixing metaphors and just get this show on the road.

First on the docket?

Awesome reasons to eat cheese.

Glücklich (wenn auch spät) Schweizer Bundesfeie meine Freunde!

Yes, that’s right. Happy belated Swiss National Day.

Over here at chez-madhouse, we look forward to celebrating this holiday every year on August 1. It’s a chance to hang out with other Swiss nuts (aka M’s family), eat a ton of amazing cheese, drink sparkling wine, and make merry as the night is long.

So this past Wednesday we tuned up our alpen horns, practiced our Roger Federer one-handed backhands, and drove over for a feast of feasts with the rest of the gang.


Number two?

I think I’ve seen this all before.

So it’s not that I get déjà vu a lot, it’s more that the déjà vu that I do end up getting really knocks me for a loop – it is out-of-this-world BONKERS. I am literally struck silent (one might even say immobilized) by the feeling that everything that I am experiencing has already happened to me before.

And when I’m not living through this strange, quasi-out-of-body sensation, I’m just doing really silly things on repeat – over, and over, and over again.

(See: Hot Chip)

For instance, did you know that in Russian, the work for juice is cok? You see, c = s and k = c/k.

The confusion and embarrassment comes into play when even though you are THINKING in Russian, your brain is READING in English, and you end up saying “cok“ (and who are we kidding, if you say cok, nobody is thinking “oh, like Russian juice only mispronounced!“ and everybody is just thinking THAT GIRL JUST SAID WANG!!! BAHAHAHAHA!!!“.)

Which is bloody awkward as all get out.

Seriously, all throughout Russian 100 I’m fairly certain that I told 90% of my classmates that on the weekends I liked to drink vodka and cock.

Which is silly because I don’t EVER drink vodka, and the prospect of a vodka penis just makes the whole venture one hundred fold more unappealing.


Why are you telling this story lady? I bet many of you are thinking at this very moment.


Yesterday I was with my colleague J, and I asked her to accompany me to the kitchen so I could get a drink.

Unfortunately, I wavered between pop and coke, and so it came out: “I just want to grab a cock.“

And so it continues.

Seriously, how this is still happening to me, I will never know.

I can only blame it on the Russians.


Amazing YA fiction.

Have any of you cats read this book?

I just started it yesterday morning and I am about halfway through. It is absolutely awesome!

It’s driving me batty trying to figure out what exactly is going on – the plot is slowly unfolding but I feel as though I cannot trust any of the narration.

I am hooked. I implore you – ch-ch-ch-check it out.

As for us Canucks, we have a three day weekend to look forward to. Hopefully the sun will be shining like a shining thing. M and I are looking forward to hiking Mt. Seymour, and just spending as much time outside as possible. I have a really, really wicked foot tan shaping up, the likes of which I haven’t seen for a couple of years.

Wishing you all a fab time off, whatever it is you do.

Published by

Vanessa Woznow

Writer, runner, ranter, reader. I write about all things.

10 thoughts on “Like a monkey with a miniature symbol”

  1. everyone else is so nice to you! has anyone had the, um, cok, or ovarine-tendencies, or whatever, to say, that, sometimes, you … are … just (plain?)

    (i luvya ennneeeeweighs)

  2. Glad that someone managed to celebrate the Swiss National Day – at the library here last Wednesday they had a free fondue and alpen horn celebration! I was keeping it in mind since I saw the poster (love me a good fondue!!) but alas when Wednesday rolled around, the remnants of a cold I was still fighting kept me inside… oh well, I guess there’s next year.

    Hope the long weekend has been lovely! I hear it’s smoking hot out! And to think we were calling it warm at 17 degrees here today. hah!

    1. It is hot as heck! I’m loving it. Add in the fondue and I am a happy, happy clam.

      Wait – 17 degrees and is it winter there? Or more like fall? And have the storms tapered off?

  3. Ah, I love the decorations! It sounds like you guys really know how to celebrate with all the good stuff: cheese, sparkling wine, awesome family! Great post and so so fun to see the photos!

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