Dear Buddha, please bring me a pony

Tonight has brought cool spring showers, and warm toasty fires.

I had the pleasure of speaking at a Big Sisters fundraiser today after work.

I’ve been a Big for three and a half years, and recently signed up to be a media program ambassador. Basically I get to go to different events and extol the virtues of this seriously amazing, life changing organization.

The tank top I made for the half-marathon I ran to raise funds for Big Sisters.

This role is great fun, and is rad as heck. I love working with this association, and want to do whatever I can in my power to raise awareness and funds for their different initiatives, while at the same time stoking, or perhaps piquing the interest of potential Bigs.

It was such a pleasure to chat with the attendees after I had given my speech, and relay a bit more about my relationship with my Little, and what is required of all prospective volunteers.

After a long day at work, and then participating in the fundraiser, it is pretty nice to be sitting here with Ms. Nymeria and Mr. M.

The fam.

We’re watching Serenity while working, and purring, and writing, and planning.

Boy do I ever love me some Captain Tight-Pants. (For those of you unsure as to what I’m talking about, I promise you, it’s not my husband.)

And I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of the Oaty Bar theme song either.


Also, Nathan Fillion re-tweeted me the other day, which was pretty darn fabitty fab in the extreme.

Today I went back to Club Monaco to purchase my sparkly, pleated beauty skirt. Of course, since I’m a complete broomhead, I forgot my student card, so I ended up having to put it on hold for purchase tomorrow.

And you better believe that I will be there with bells on (along with the proper funds and student ID requirements.)

It will be mine, oh yes.

My precious.

One Skirt to rule them all; One Skirt to find them; One Skirt to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them.

Soon. VERY soon. Preeeccciiiiooouuussss.

I mean…

What was I saying?

Oh yes. I will keep you abreast on this story (and my madness) as it progresses.

Also, I am very proud to say that I ate a healthy breakfast this morning.

Or at least healthy by my standards, Mlle. Beignet au Pomme.

Granny smith apple and organic crunchy almond butter? Cor, I am in absolute heaven.


(Just for the sake of full disclosure, I want to stress that I didn’t eat the entire container of almond butter. I may have wanted to, but I’m proud to say that restraint was exercised.)

So there you have it.

Today is Tuesday.

There is a new government in Alberta, with the first female premier elected as head of the province; Ontario remains just beyond the cusp of an election, and Quebec may soon be heading down the same road.

Also we’ll see what happens in France as they move into their next phase of voting.

Oh, and Yertle the Turtle, a great picture book written by DR. SEUSS has been banned from B.C. Classrooms for being “too political.”


HEAVY STUFF. Like, this and the Satanic Verses are basically the same thing.

It would seem the phrase, “I know up on top you are seeing great sights, but down here on the bottom, we too should have rights” is too contentious a topic for the province’s youn, impressionable, and highly malleable minds.

Someone get me a fainting couch, because I’m clutching my pearls for all of Canada.

What do you all think, my lovely readers? Have we finally crossed the line?

And how was your Tuesday?

I want to hear all about it.

And extra points if you can do it in rhyme.

Published by

Vanessa Woznow

Writer, runner, ranter, reader. I write about all things.

25 thoughts on “Dear Buddha, please bring me a pony”

  1. (Oh god, please nobody scan this)

    Now, I’m not actually saying that old Dave is a doucheboggin, but a google search of his name sure did hurt my poor noggin.

    This man’s paid good money, dare I say, well endowed
    For running ’round telling teachers “don’t say that out loud!”

    “And it’s fine”, he explains, “to not know the source
    When you’re busy limiting free speech for others, “of course!”

    The secret it seems to making it good
    Is not to teach children to think if they would
    No, the secret it seems to biggering your money
    Is to go back to the pot twice as much for more honey.

  2. Separate post because I’m not going to defile Captain Tightpants’ name by putting it in the same comment as … that guy… up there.


    Okay, so anyway, that is super awesome. As is he. As Captain Tightpants and as Captain Hammer. He can captain whatever the hell he wants, as long as he wears the pants. Hell, he can captain if he doesn’t. I’m not about to get picky.

    Where was I?

    Oh, right. You like Firefly. You are a good person. We should be BFFs. I may or may not say this to anyone who ever makes a Firefly reference. I may or may not immediately condemn to the pain (when my regime begins, of course) anyone who has ever used the word “meh” when I ask them what they think about Firefly. (These people exist. I have also met people who respond with “meh” when I say “The Princess Bride”. My regime is going to be a brutal one, filled with the re-education of people too ignorant to love everything I love.)

    Where was I?


    I want to tell you that being a BS is awesome but I’ve been blindingly distracted by the awesomeness that is Firefly.

    And also Dr. Horrible.

    And now I have those songs stuck in my head.


    (No though, you rock. For the BS thing. As well as for quoting Much Ado one post and Serenity the next. <3)

    1. That is my same reaction when anyone tells me that’s how THEY feel about Firefly! OMG, Dudette, when I say you make me laugh, there is absolutely not fallacy being committed there. Like, if I type LOL, you better believe the guffaws are flowing, freely and easily.

      YES, the retweet was ridiculous in the extreme. I kind of felt like I was going to hyperventilate for a few minutes.

      Also, I am so so glad you got the Much Ado reference! It is my favourite Shakes of all time. I actually quote it on a daily basis. And uses “I love with you with so much of my heart, that none is left to protest” in my wedding vows. (That and I a line from Preacher. Hah!)

      Keep fighting the good fight Ms. Skies. I like your style!
      A lot.

      1. Ha ha I meant to mention the MAAN quote when I saw it but got distracted – out of curiosity what’s your feelings on the 1993 version?

        1. Jeeeebus. Could I have been any more out to lunch when I wrote my first reply to you? Holy crap, do I ever apologize. I was all over the place there! In my defense, I was replying very early this morning, and in my enthusiasm to reply to your comment I seem to have briefly lost my ability to string together a coherent sentence. MY APOLOGIES!

          Anywho, the 1993 version is one of my favourite films of all time (even with Keanu’s Don John. “I am not a man of many words…but…I thank you” *shudders*) One of my heroes (heroines?) is Emma Thompson. I love her. Truly. I also have mad love for Kenneth Branagh (in fact, after having watched two seasons of Wallander I find myself wanting to have a good old snog fest with him, oooeerr…)

          I also loved Robert Sean Leonard so much in the film that after I saw it for the first time (when I was 12) I wrote him a letter telling him how much I enjoyed the movie. And he wrote me back! Pretty cool sauce.

          What are your thoughts? Do you love it too?

          1. Ba ha ha ha – you write “all over the place” like you’ve never read anything I’ve written. Seriously. Paragraphs were made to be hurt, maimed, destroyed, and taunted. Observe:

            And now that you’ve said it, I’ll say it – I LOVE that movie. It’s one of the only Shakespeare plays I actually like anyway, one of the few ‘romances’ I’ll watch without whining and bitching like someone’s suggesting I try treating a skinned knee with lemon juice, and Emma and Kenneth in that one were just… oooOOOOoooh. So much love. I would *love* to find me a good Benedick. Especially in those pants… and on a horse…. and…. where was I? Oh, right. Emma’s opening poetry reading makes me swoon. It must be something about the tone of voice because Rachel Roberts makes me just as happy when she reads “Kennst du das Land” in Murder on the Orient Express (and I’ve always been bitter that I could never find a recording her reading the whole thing like that!) and they both seem – to me anyway – very similar in the way they’re read. Anyway. I wasn’t so much a fan of Robert Sean Leonard and (oh holy shit I never knew that was) Kate Beckinsale – not a “sappy love” kinda girl. In fact Beatrice and Benedick even annoy me a little near the end ;) – but that’s so awesome that he wrote you back! I once wrote a gushing letter to Christopher Golden after I finished reading his Myth Hunters series and he wrote me a really nice email back. Made my day! (Until I lost all the archived email from the address including his, boo hoo :()

            Hey, while we’re on the subject of how awesome our mutual taste is – and on romances – if you ever wanna get all good and girly over BBC’s Pride & Prejudice, I’m there, baby.

  3. For a minute there I thought you’d gotten far too involved in the Bioshock games for your own good! But wow, that mentoring program is awesome in the extreme, you must feel very proud to be a part of it. Way to go Ethel!
    As for the excesses of BC/PC… gah. Stupidly, depressingly familiar. Some eejit with too much clout for anybody’s good and no sense of humour or proportion pushing their own agenda… grrrr. *Steps down off soap-box with an effort*
    My Tuesday, let’s see…
    It rained again on Tuesday,
    Just for a change of pace.
    The rainclouds seemed to follow me
    As I squelched from place to place.
    My meteorological fanboys
    Seem to think I LIKE the rain,
    And so bestowed it on me
    Again and again and again…
    This made me feel so cherished
    As I hurtled up the hill,
    Blasting out the ‘Shrek’ soundtrack
    (It clears the streets at will),
    With damp-frizzed hair and perished
    Fingertips I roared along,
    ignoring nervous tourists
    Trying to lip-read my singalong.
    I fed the nags, and goats, and cats,
    Electrified a fence;
    I pirouetted through the mud
    In wellies, in an attempt
    To get some throwing practice in
    Despite the rain and muck,
    And stuck to it (how appropriate)
    ‘Cos I couldn’t give a
    Flying buffalo what anybody thinks so long as I get bloody good at throwing stupidly heavy lumps of metal around the landscape!
    So Tuesday was a good day,
    I didn’t forget a thing,
    (Well, not if you don’t count that… and that,
    But I am not telling!)
    I cooked two different kinds of meal,
    And didn’t burn the dinner.
    And in MY book, if not in yours,
    That makes me a winner!

    Thank yeww, I’ll be here far longer than you might wish…
    ps: YOU try finding a convincing scan that makes sense when talking about making tourists nervous singing along to Joan Jett! “I don’t give a damn ’bout my bad reputatioooonnnn!” “Oh my God, what’s that crazy woman yelling at us? She looks scary! Don’t step into the street sweetie, she may side-swipe us from an excess of sheer Englishness!”
    Better believe it, my old pedigree chum. Don’t mess with the eccentricity, you may get shocked!


      I am actually a little bit in love with that. What an amazing thing to wake up to and read :) Also, I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, you are FUNNY AS HECK. Love the image of you pirouetting in the mud. Love Joan Jett and the nervous tourists. You are a winner and a half. I may also start calling you Fiona for good measure. Kickass, Warrior Fiona – mind you.

      Man, I am so glad I tweeted that quote about James May and my husband, or else our paths may never have crossed!

      Thank you for this!

      1. Ah, sweet serendipity via Top Gear LOL Gotta love it! You’re welcome. I love spouting doggerel. And singing at top volume in the car, for that matter, with exaggerated mouth movements! Heh.

  4. Tuesday for me was another one,
    Of those long, slow, heavy revolutions,
    Around the sun.
    I worked most of the day
    In the lab beneath the clock face
    Plodding away at a monotonous Pace.
    When suddenly an angel* came to me,
    Said, “You can get through this,
    I’ll help you see,
    Just relive your favourite memories,
    And make sure to working (hard as it may be)
    Through your resultant reverie.”

    I said “That’s all very well,
    But can’t you see? I’ve relived every memory,
    And I know only you can see with an angel’s eyes,
    But right now I feel quite patronised.
    “Now I’ve been working here longer than you,**
    Don’t you think I’d know a thing or two?
    Stay in the shadows of my mind/periphery
    Not in full view,
    And I think we’ll get on far better***
    Once that, you do.

    With a hurt little “Humph” a flicker of malevolence
    She left me there in the same silence,
    It were as though she had never been
    I sighed and continued my repetitive task at the machine,
    Looked to the clock and did I dream?!
    The clock face bore the angel’s gleam,
    Time flew then on her tinted wings
    The clock hand ticking like pizzicato strings
    And though I hummed along, a solemn tune,
    One could never be back home too soon****.

    *Possibly hallucination of fatigue and boredom.
    **Possibly a colleague hopelessly mistaken for something else
    *** Better as in “not at all.”
    ****Unless that somehow affects the pay packet… D:

    You can see I started off with a serious attempt, but then the poem totally derailed. You can’t know what you’re going to write before you write it, else it’s not an experience in poetry so much as one in dictation of one’s thoughts; I just tend to know a little less of where I’ll end up than most.

    I enjoy reading your blog, though often have little to say. Keep up the good work- I’m surprised you’ve time to write with such an active life. Inspirational.

    1. This is fabulous! And I cannot even begin to tell you how much I love the asterisks. It’s like reading Shakespeare out of the assigned grade ten text (where they decode all the wording). Seriously fab.

      Also, “I just tend to know a little less of where I’ll end up than most” could be the motto of this here blog spot, so I definitely not one to get upset over a little meandering. Heck, Neal Stephenson is one of my favourite writers, and he is the king of the tangent.

      Thanks so much for the wonderful poem and kind words. :)

  5. Okay, just the title of this post made me happy! I totally forgot you were a fellow Browncoat. Now it totally makes sense why we’re friends (well, there’s so much more, but this is the clencher)! Yes, Cap’n Tightpants is fabulous… I wish they’d bring that series back. But, “If dreams were horses, we’d all be eatin’ steak!” And all Dr. Horrible songs, gosh, my Wednesday is so much happier. Seriously awesome that you got re-tweeted. *fan girl shriek*
    Cannot wait for you to get your beautiful skirt! The reference to LotR had me in stitches, thanks…
    I didn’t know you were a Big, that’s so cool. And sounds like you’ve really stepped into a great role with the organization. Very inspiring, especially for your Little!
    Excellent post, you’ve made my day and I hope you have a very fantastic one yourself, Amiga!

    1. Yes! Friendship clenched. This vice is on now baby! :) So glad I could bring a smile to your beautiful face. And I really, really love that we can nerd it out together. It makes my little heart smile! Also, I did an actual out loud fangirl shriek when I saw the retweet. Pretty funny, but hey, I’m not ashamed!

      I can now officially report that the skirt has been purchased! Hurrah! I made it back to CM on my lunch today, and scooped it up as quickly as I could. I have promised myself I will wear it to my next Big Sisters event. :)

      Thanks for the lovely note (as always!) and I hope your day has been brilliant, and beautiful, filled with light and love :)

  6. My Tuesday was alright
    My Wednesday was way better
    Tuesday wasn’t bright
    Wednesday I got a new sweater (:
    I got to leave work early today
    To go take a Swedish test
    I had a lot of fun, yay!
    I’m not kidding, it was the best.
    Canada doesn’t need to worry
    I don’t think Dr. Seuss is too political
    But I suppose the line is blurry
    I wouldn’t want to be critical
    If I were to fret anything
    I’d look to Norway
    (the country Sweden’s adjoining)
    That Breivik has got to pay
    Anyway, I stopped by to say
    That I love your blog
    Have a great day!!

    Not the best, but do I at least get 10 points?

    1. Dudette, you get 10 points and more! Smashing poem! Plus a new sweater and a test you absolutely rocked out on? You cannot get better than that. :)

      Are you living in Sweden now? Or just studying the language at school?

      Thank you so much for the wonderful note. I hope your Thursday proves to be just tops!

        1. No doubt! Sweden is very high on my list of places to visit. I went on a tear for a while and only read books by Swedish (and other Scandinavian) authors. My mom and I are planning on doing the Kurt Wallander tour around Ystad – it’s on the bucket list!

          1. That sounds awesome! Sweden is ridiculously beautiful in the summer, I recommend coming then. Smart to stick to the south of Sweden ;) I’m going to attept to read Stieg Larsson’s books in Swedish – wish me luck!

  7. I’m behind on reading Ethel. Sorry =/

    And I’m at work… so no time to write a fabby Yertle-y poem… but I do love your skirt. Maybe I missed it… but where did you get your blue blouse that you nom nom love?

    1. Hey, no worries! I’m not the reading police. Nor the poetry police at that. (and judging by the dreck I churned out betwixt the years of 13-17, I would be the first to be thrown in poetry jail at that.

      Do you dudes have Jacob in NJ? I know it’s a Canadian brand. That is where I purchased my nom nom blouse. Which I am (nom nom) wearing today!

      1. ha ha, I know you are not the reading police. If you were, I would be in effing trouble!!! HAAA. It seems we do not have Jacob here, but I must say that I checked out their website and I like it. Cute stuff. I also dig their “no retouching” photo policy. Rock on Jacob. For the record… I have been in Vancouver once… though it was unfortunately just a drive by, or drive through — we were “escorted” to the airport by Carnival cruises after our Alaskan/Inside Passage trip. We should have taken an extra day or two and hung out in the V. It seems like a really nice (and clean, for crissakes) city.

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