And many more! (On channel 4)

This is my mum:

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She is very old.


She’s brilliant, and beautiful, and utterly fab, and I love her more than can be properly communicated on ye Olde Rant and Roll.

And it’s her birthday!

As I will be seeing her in exactly two weeks, when the family descends upon New York for my sister’s wedding festivities, I didn’t send her card in the mail (plus Canada post is notoriously slow).

Also, one thing to know about my momma is that she is a Buddhist, zen master extraordinaire, so in her quest to reach nirvana she has shunned all worldly possessions.

(And yet despite this fact, I cannot seem to stop buying her all the beautiful jewelry that reminds me of her.)

I’m working on it, okay?

(Just not that hard.)

However, as soon as I saw this card I KNEW that I had to purchase it:


I mean, how perfect is that?

Momma, I love you to death, and if I could buy you a lifetime supply of nothing (or, at the very least, all the salmon and salads in the world), I would.

I would in an instant.