Happy labour day friends!
I am currently working down (or around?) my to-do list. Also, I cannot stop listening to Corb Lund and the Hurtin’ Albertans.
Because, THEY BE AWESOME.
I never really listened to much country growing up. Our family had a pretty eclectic taste in music, and it was a total free-for-all anytime we embarked on a long road trip, or family vacation.
But there was never any country.
It was no country for old country. Or new country at that.
I mean, when I wasn’t running around with my dad’s tai chi swords, dressed up in my highland dancing clothes pretending I was Sailor Moon, I was choreographing elaborate dance routines to such musical greats as The Rankin Family or Enya or Bruce Springsteen.
If I wanted to get really crazy I would break out the soundtrack to The Commitments and boogie down.
Of course I wasn’t just a-moving and a-shaking to these rad tunes – I was either lip-synching or belting out the words with everything that I had. Much depended on whether or not there were other people in the house, and if so, how close they were to my bedroom at that given time.
So having recognized my propensity for taking on the musical works of others and making it my own at such an early age, you can imagine just how much I loathe karaoke.
Karaoke is one of those things that I very rarely do, but love anyways.
It’s also an activity that is strictly familial – I cannot remember the last time I sang into some broke microphone in front of a bunch of semi-drunk strangers without the support of my wacko sisters at my side.
I used to sing a mean Cher’s “If I Could Turn Back Time” (doing the low voice and everything) but I just haven’t had the heart to sing it much since my friend Brent told me that I didn’t actually sound anything like Cher, and instead was just singing like a depressed man with a potato stuck in his throat.
He might as well have told me that I was a virgin who couldn’t drive. WAY HARSH TAI.
Anyway, as much as this was disheartening to hear, I still think of it as one of my all time favourite karaoke picks. Check-it:
How can you not want to sign along to that? Effin’ rights.
My other two top picks are very much in the vein of Mr. Corb and his hurtin’ band. Because no joke, nothing works quite as well as a sweet, sweet country tune when you’re up there embarrassing yourself for all of Canada.
If you want to get a ton of people on your side right away, I would recommend singing Tracy Byrd’ s The Drinking Bone:
People totally go nuts over this song because it scores absolutely off the chart in terms of ridiculousity and hilariousity.
Plus the lyrics are simple in the extreme.
Do. Seriously. DO IT.
Finally, (and while you may think that this would best for the ladies in the crowd, I’d bet a silver dollar that a dude could bring the whole house down with a solid rendition of this song) – I recommend Shania Twain’s Any Man of Mine.
Goodness do I ever love this tune.
It also scores highly on the outrageous and funny scale plus you have a whole pantheon of amazing lyrics to chose from, including:
“And when I cook him dinner and I burn it black, he better say, mmm, I like it like that.”
Bonus – at the end of the song Ms. Twain talks you through a sort of mini dance that you can do on stage for all of your cheering fans.
This is a terrific song to do with a partner, or even as a threesome. Results may vary of course, but I’ve never known it to go down with nothing less than raucous, rousing approval.
So get out there and go for it.
But! Always remember to give it your all – nobody wants to see anything half-baked up on that neon lit stage.
Because if you don’t, Cher won’t be the only one waxing poetic about turning back time.