One tough cookie

Hey friends!

It’s Friday, it’s June, and it’s raining and winding like a raining and winding thing.

Tough Mudder is tomorrow, so as I may never see (write to?) you beauty cats ever again (due to my imminent death by hypothermia), so let me just say that it has been an absolute pleasure conversing with all of you.

For the (mayhaps final) Fry-Up, there are three things heating up docket, so let’s dive right in.

Number one:

Pretty pretties from the internets.

I’ve always been super weary of purchasing goods from the world wide interweb, however when I saw this dress there was little I could do to stop myself from taking out my credit card and buying it on the spot.

It was thirty-five dollars – which included shipping – a price so low I half expected the garment to dissolve into dust as soon as I opened the packaging.

However, as it is a non-structured dress (a slip, with a sheer overlay) that came with its ridiculously cute pink belt, I figured if I know my size pretty well, there was little chance that the fit was going to be completely off.

(I mean, for thirty-five clams there was no way I was going to go through the effort of returning the thing. If by bad luck it hadn’t fit, I would have bloody well made it fit.)

And it ended up being brilliant! On the whole, I am just so enamoured with its retro style that I half expect an American GI to walk up to me as I walk down the street and ask me if I would like to jitterbug with him as soon as the band returns from its break.

It’s also comfortable as all get out, both work and play appropriate, and as flattering as a grade school crush.

Now I just need to figure out how to curl my hair properly and heck – no one will be able to stop me!


Number two:

Fab books and belly laughs.

I am currently reading this book:

It is hilarious.

Today on skytrain I was busting a gut so hard the fellow sitting next to me leaned over and asked me what I was reading.

“A hilarious Canadian book about the absurdity of academia and our electoral and parliamentary systems!” I responded. “It won the Stephen Leacock medal!”

I don’t know whether to describe the look that flickered across his face as incredulous or withering, so let’s go with both.

If I had known that he would have greeted my description with such non-plussed scorn (hey, it’s a thing!) I probably would have said something different.

I should have just hollered, “MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS YOU ULTRA MAROON!” and then farted loudly.

(P.S. This is how you get a seat to yourself on transit at all hours of the day.)

Anywho, the book is blinkin funny as heck, so if you have a chance, ch-ch-check it out. This goes double for all my Canuck readers out there.

You won’t regret it, I promise you.

P.S. for my international readership, the Stephen Leacock award is for Canadian humour writing. People who win it often have genetically modified funny bones. I am currently in the process of saving up for an F.B. enlargement so I too may one day compete in this illustrious field.

Number three:


I am one of those people who LOVE to shower.

I love being clean.

I love the process of becoming clean.

Everything about the venture that is involved with standing inside an enclosed bathing vestibule – I BLOODY WELL LOVE.

And tomorrow, during Tough Mudder, I am going to get very, very dirty.

The dirtiest.

Perhaps (and by perhaps I mean it is certain) that I will reach levels of filth I cannot even begin to imagine, sitting here at my computer.

And while I don’t fear that mess, I very much look forward to that moment where upon completion of my race, I will step into a shower, feel that cascade of hot water on my skin, and scrub the absolute shit out of my dermis.

Take that as you will.

So there you have it dudes.

On one last T.M. note, I am so excited to start off tomorrow I can hardly sit still.

I have trained like a madwoman and now it is time to see what I can do. I promise to take lots of photos and let you know how both Mr. M and I fared throughout the sixteen kilometers and twenty-five obstacles.

We’ll be seeing you at the finish line.

Published by

Vanessa Woznow

Writer, runner, ranter, reader. I write about all things.

26 thoughts on “One tough cookie”

  1. GOOD LUCK!!! DON’T DROWN OR FLOAT AWAY!!! ‘Cause that would suck.

    Never run a race, myself, though it’s on my list of things to do this year. You should come down to Atlanta and run in the Peachtree Road Race…every July 4, SO MANY PEOPLE suit up and run around in the Georgia humidity. I think it adds an extra challenge, this humidity. Which is probably why I’ve never signed up before.

    Anyway, girly, have lots of fun and kick some butt!!! You’ll be great. :)

    1. I managed to stay my ground! Though the mud was so deep in some parts, I’m lucky I didn’t lose a shoe.

      That race sounds like a gas! I would love to do to visit and run the route. I can only imagine the humidity in Georgia in July!

      Hope you has just a fab weekend Ms. Laura :)

  2. GOOD LUCK! As if you’ll need it. You’re going to do so awesomely well. Get dirty. And then get you to a deep tub and stay there as long as you can.

  3. Ha, you Canucks really are too nice! Here in Los Estados Unidos, if you want a seat on public transportation at all you have to either smell pervasively terrible or stab someone while getting onto the bus and smear your victims blood on your face in a wildly grotesque manner that would make Heath Ledger’s Joker think you were frightening and kind of weird. Calling someone an “ultra maroon” only works if you’re Bugs Bunny down here.

    Good luck with the muddertuffing Tough Mudder tomorrow. Be thankful its only sixteen kilometers, I am pretty sure that is only about a mile in regular measurements (and by regular I mean the ones only used here and in the UK).

    1. YES! You go the Bugs Bunny reference. Gah, I cannot tell you how happy that makes me.

      Well, at least I now know what to do the next time I find myself riding transit when down south…

      My metric sensibilities laugh at your conversion attempt! (but not too hard, because I am still Canadian.)

      1. Actual conversion: sixteen kilometres is about ten miles. I am sure there are some places in the US where riding public transportation doesn’t require smoking bath salts first; but those places are probably a lot less interesting.

  4. You were right! That dress is too cute!
    And such a great buy.
    The T-bar shoes are a perfect match for the vintage look.
    And you know how much I like a good retro look!
    Excellent job! :)

    1. Woot! Thank you so much :) I am just so enamoured with the whole look.

      Thanks again for all the great recommendations. I’ll let you know as my venture into internet shopping unfolds :)

      1. Cool! And be sure to let me know if you find a great online shop because I am always willing to expand my collection of favourite!
        Happy hunting. :)

  5. Do you have a life insurance? Is there anyone on the way to tortureland playing the bagpipe to encourage you to complete this mad wild race?
    This whole thing reminds me of Jesus carrying his cross to Gogotha! God luck and please come back to write a few more!

    1. Good grief Yvon, your comments are the absolute best. BEST EVER!

      If you could only have been along the course with your bagpipes my life would be complete. Next year! Make sure they hire you!

  6. I wish you all the best in your endeavours. Having broken my code of not reading other blogger’s blogs (to read this and one other blog) I’ve come to absolutely appreciate these posts as completely invigorating vacations- alien (and yet not unfamiliar) perspectives, and intriguing conclusions drawn from the stimuli of a completely different location/ecosystem/society. I shall sadly miss these (sometimes) nostalgic, (always) colourful and unpredictable posts should their source expire.

    Oh btw, I made French toast/eggy bread for the first time today and it went incredibly well.

    1. Woohoo for french toast! What did you pair it with? Love that you liked it :)

      This is such a lovely note – thank you for such kind words. I’m glad I can bring a little something different for you as a reader (and thank you for reading!)

      1. I was lazy so it wasn’t very paired with anything…. But I sprinkled black pepper and grated some smoked applewood cheese on top, so it was (I had 5 slices, though the fifth was only one sided) more than adequate :D

  7. Hope Tough Mudder was awesome!! All the best!!

    Love the dress!

    I totally know what you mean about showers and being clean, such a lovely feeling. Even better when you’re visibly dirty before going in – ie. apres Tough Mudder I bet! Can’t wait to hear about it!

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