First things first.
Look what happened this morning!
Talk about magic.
Now, on to the important stuff.
The brilliant Ms. J from Ambling and Rambling (the big sister blog to ye olde Rant and Roll) has asked me to pen my 2012 Christmas wishes, as, interestingly enough, one of her Christmas wishes.
How very meta.
So it’s got me thinking (literally, I’ve put on my pondering cap and everything) as to what is it that I want most, for not necessarily myself, but for the entire world as we head into the holidays and New Year.
So let’s just dive right in, shall we?
It’s going to be a doozy.
First, I wish that a fitting punishment be doled out to all these offenders listed below:
- escalator standers
- sidewalk shufflers
- gym grunters
- movie talkers
- chair kickers
- mouth breathers
- staff meeting monologuers
- perpetual cell phone checkers
- non-signalling drivers
They are the absolute worst.
Don’t know a mansplainer?
They are those dudes who, because they’re a dude, like to corner women at parties, or bars, or their offices, or the bus stop, and explain to them what it’s like to be a woman, and what, as a woman, they should be doing with their life.
As a woman.
My reaction to this phenomenon is always the same:
THANKS TIPS BUT I’M DOING JUST FINE.
As punishment, these individuals will have to complete a minimum sentence of twenty years of hard labour, to be served on Baffin Island, carrying rocks from one coastline to the other.
And back again.
However, in a bid to seem lenient, it will be their choice as to whether the rocks are carried North-South or East-West .
(I want to see fair, after all.)
My second wish is that anyone thinking about getting a pet next year, first looks at adoption options, before purchasing their little one.
There are so just many animals out there that need our help. And if you don’t believe me, just watch that awful Sarah McLachlan SPCA commercial.
(You know, the one that destroys viewers with all those clips of abused and sick puppies and kittens.)
I get choked up just thinking about it.
(Seriously, if your heart doesn’t break into ten thousand pieces by the 2.7 second mark of that ad, congratulations, you are officially a psychopath.)
Anyways, what I’m trying to say here is that it would make such a difference if more people looked into their local shelters before buying, because there are so many awesome little gals and guys currently available for adoption who need a warm and loving place to call home.
It was actually at our neighbourhood SPCA that we found Ms. Nymeria, and as you may have guessed, we couldn’t (and wouldn’t want to) imagine our life now without her.
(Even when she’s limbering up her killing paw.)
Phew. Where did all this rain falling on my face come from?
Third on the docket is my wish that Hot Chip returns to Vancouver ASAP, so that I can once again dance my mad face off to them in concert.
(HOW SELFISH CAN I GET, RIGHT?)
But seriously, looking back on the past three hundred and fifty-odd days, this concert was a major musical highlight (in a year already defined by many, many boughts of tonal awesomeness.)
So Alexis Taylor, et. al., – I implore you. Get your groovetastic selves back to Vancity, and STAT.
Over, and over, and over, again.
Side note: I kind of feel like I’m writing a Friday Fry-up here. But on a Wednesday. MIND BLOWN.
Finally, my Christmas wish (my real one) is for the whole world to just take a moment, and CHILL OUT.
Take one moment, and believe.
Because I believe our world can be better – little by little, person by person.
I believe we can make it better.
And so that is my wish.
I wish for all others to believe.