Anybody hear that? I’m fairly alarmed here

Hey dudes!

I don’t know about where you live, but it’s raining like a raining thing out here on the west coast of BC.

Normally this isn’t something to really gripe about (what with it being my choice to live smack dab in the middle of a temperate rainforest an all) but come this Sunday I will be running 21.1 kilometers (13.1 miles for all you lovely Yanks/Brits out there) and I would prefer to do so sans soaked running shoes.

(Sans soaked shoes and/or any garment really.)

It’s not that I don’t like running in the rain, I just always imagine it being so much more romantic than it actually proves to be.

And for that, I blame Four Weddings and a Funeral.

“Is it raining? … I hadn’t noticed…”

NO ONE BELIEVES YOU ANDIE MACDOWELL.

NO ONE.

Okay, let’s get back on track.

And what better way to do this than with one of my favourite blog posts:

THE FRIDAY FRY-UP.

Hold on to your butts.

YOU GUYS.

Jurassic Park is back in theatres!

HECK YES.

Let’s take a quick walk down memory lane shall we?

1993. Age 8. Summer. Vacationing in Calgary. Staying with my mum’s friend Claire. She has twin girls who are 10, and a boy who is 12.

We all get along like gangbusters.

Are we going to go see this movie?

OF COURSE WE ARE.

If I remember correctly, I talked my way into permission by telling Claire that this film would be easypeasy compared to some of the other flicks I had previously sat through (despite my, well, extreme youth.)

Her eyes got pretty wide after I told her that on Easter we had rented The Fugitive for some festive post-egg hunt family bonding.

But I mean, c’mon lady, if I could handle Han Solo jumping off of a dam and the terrifying one-armed bandit, I could definitely hack a bloodthirsty T-Rex and a shirtless Jeff Goldblum.

AM I RITE DUDEZ OR WUT?

The other thing that really sticks out in my memory about this day (other than how much I loved this movie, despite it scaring the absolute crappola out of me) is that it was also the day I first heard the term “Jeeze Louise.”

This, to my 8 year-old self, was pretty much THE FUNNIEST THING OF LIFE, so in order to calm myself throughout the scariest parts of the film, I just repeated it over, and over again.

OH HAI NEWMAN BEING SPRAYED AND KILLED BY DISARMINGLY CUTE BUT ACTUALLY TERRIFYING DILOPHOSAURUSjeezelouisejeezelouisejeezelouise…

(And so on.)

Anywho, as you may imagine, going to this re-release is very high on my TO-DO list (as it too should be on yours), but in the meantime if you want the very best ever summation of the movie, please read this.

You will laugh.

I promise.

I am very famous.

IMG_20130403_181547

Just saying.

And because I am very famous, I eat things like this:

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And take family portraits like this:

IMG_20130401_201809

Help.

Goodbye, my friend.

So come Monday, my best friend at work (the amazing, brilliant, and beautiful Jen) is moving on to a new job, and despite the fact that I am SO HAPPY FOR HER, my little heart is pretty sad knowing that I won’t be working with her for the REST OF MY LIFE.

Veteran readers of this blog will know that she has been a top partner in crime for the past two years as we’ve kicked butt and taken names, skulked about local shopping haunts, and tried out delicious cuisine in and around the downtown core.

(She is also a formidable gym partner, professional Ticket to Ride competitor, and the official Rant and Roll fairy god-mother.)

So Jen, if you’re reading this (and I know you are), let me say this-

GTFO.

YOLO!

Also:

Yeah. That’s pretty darn cheesey.

And I love it.

So there you have it folks.

What are you up to for the weekend? Any there any runs, films, fame, or friends on your radar? Do tell me all about it.

Happy Friday to you all!

Published by

Vanessa Woznow

Writer, runner, ranter, reader. I write about all things.

13 thoughts on “Anybody hear that? I’m fairly alarmed here”

  1. Since my mother’s name is Louise, i use this phrase ALWAYS. And when it’s actually in reference to my mother i add a “literally” to the end of it. i still think it’s brilliantly hilarious. No one can tell me otherwise ;)

  2. Wow, between the raffles is the best spot, I’m sure! Good luck on the run, I hope it doesn’t suck. I ran a half marathon (that’s 13.1 in miles because I’m an American and the more sensible metric system scares the bejeezus out of us) a couple of years ago and tore my old ass up. I’m sure you’ll do great though. It’s really a 20 something person’s game.

    1. Totally the best spot. I had it written up in my contract and everything. HAH!

      Thanks for the luck – I’m pretty sure it’ll be awesome either way. Aiming for a 1:40. Not my fastest, but nothing to snuff at either! Have a great weekend!

  3. it’s as THE PROPHET (no, not the Prophet K Gibran) — Bawb Marlee said: when it rains, it doesn’t rain on one man’s house only. iffit reigns, everyone will get wet. ’cause yer faster, and more aerodynamic, and present less cross-section to whatever dye-rexion the reign’s cumminPhrumm,You’ll be LESS WET than “them.” ha! snort. poor “them”.

    and … ’cause of your delicate and deliberate and consciously effective and efficient foot-falls, YOUR SHOES SHOX AND FEET will also be less wet and soggy and gain much less water-logged sopping weight (and hence, less DRAGGG) than … poor “them.”
    yeah, i feel sorta sorry for them, not you.

    however, all this wishful drench-u-lated addle-brayinged thinking will be FOR NAUGHT as the weather will, probably, be perfect.

    1. You were too right! Not a wet shoe in the lot! (Well, I think for some of the runners who finished later, they might have had a few soggy soles!)

      And totally ideal conditions – cool, and overcast, so no over-heating to worry about!

      Also, I really need to start quoting more Bob Marley…

  4. jeezelouisejeezelouisejeezelouise……love that!! Also, look at you all printed up on the table top thingys! I see that Rapper S.L.T performed with you that night….all that I could think was that must stand for Sausage, Lettuce, Tomato (a little twist on the BLT)!!!

    1. Hahahaha! That is epic! The tastiest MC you ever did see…

      The thing was, he looked like an exact mix of David Cross (Tobias Funke on Arrested Development) and Fidel Castro. (!!!) So I introduced him as MC Analradictator (a joke for pretty much only AD fans!) Haha!

  5. We have WAY too much in common! Best of luck on your half marathon! Do tell me all about it.

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